Tuesday, February 26, 2013

That’s My Jam: 80s Songs

I know that I already posted today for Training Tuesday [link-up if you haven’t already!] & am completely pumped to be hosting it with my girl, Abbey, but in true Kanye style I just couldn’t not be involved in one of my favorite link-ups of all time. So, you get two posts in one day. Aren’t you a lucky duck?

Alright, here goes! Hanging with Katie from State of Change & Shauna from theAwesomes for -

80s style!


I thought I’d get into the spirit and dress the part for the vlog. I wish my hair would have been bigger, but I live in Texas so I’ll probably have another legit shot at it. I’ll link to the songs I talk about below, but there’s a bunch of them so I won’t post all the videos. I tried cutting this one down on time since my last one was nearly 20 minutes, but uh, I apparently have a hard time with this.

So, the next 16 minutes of your life will either be life-changing or sorely missed. Enjoy!

Also, my double chin makes an appearance more than enough in this video. She obviously doesn’t like to be ignored.

  1. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper
    Oh Cyndi, your hair kills me.
  2. Physical – Olivia Newton John
    Seriously, you guys, you need to watch this video. The workout gear, it’s awesome.
  3. Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard
    I don’t think they’re literally talking about sugar, but what do I know. I was only born in the 80s.
  4. Do You Think I’m Sexy – Rod Stewart
    I’m pretty sure if 80s Rod Stewart were a woman and very pregnant, I would totally be his doppelganger. Proof.
  5. Here I Go Again – Whitesnake
    I really think we need to remake this video – any one in? Seriously. It would be epic.
  6. Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield [my version is from Glee though]
    Why so serious Rick-ers? I’ve never seen eyes so intense. Except, you know, on a serial killer perhaps. Whoa, looking at the video with that perspective it’s really kind of creepy…
  7. Don’t Stop Believing – Journey
    I want to make babies with this song. Totally one of my favorites.
  8. Ghostbusters – Ray Parker Jr.
    I ain’t afraid of no ghosts.
  9. Hit Me With Your Best Shot – Pat Benetar
    Oops. This song actually came out in 1979. I thought it was 1980 – oh well, it survived well into the 80s so it can be legit, right?

What’s your favorite 80s jam?

Training Tuesday

This link-up is just a way to talk about training [in any way, for anything] to help hold ourselves accountable and possibly brag a bit. I mean, you ran 1 mile without stopping – you totally deserve a chance to brag about it! That shit is hard. You did 10 push-ups in a row, HOLLLEERRR.

And even if you’re not training for anything, you’re just putting yourself out there to be healthier, to get slimmer, to whatever you can share it on Training Tuesday. Let’s say you were sitting at home and instead of eating a carton of Oreos you instead ate 20 baby carrots and just imagined they were chocolate-y y crèmey goodness [hypothetical situation, of course] – share it here!

Abbey & I don’t discriminate – we congratulate.

Grab the button up above & link-up down below to let us know what’s going on for you Training Tuesday!

My Training

2/19 – 3 mile run on the dread-mill.
2/20 – I participated again in WHY GOD WHY Wednesday with Moj. We did stairs. Which is normally us just walking up & down four flights of stairs for like 45 minutes at our own pace. But this day, Moj got even more evil. She told me I was to keep up with her. This meant, for 45 minutes I ran up the stairs, jumped up the stairs, went sideways up the stairs, tried to die falling down the stairs – whatever she wanted. It was so.fricking.hard. I smile so I don’t cry. IMG_0638 2/21 – Rest day. After looking over my Bearathon training plan for the past 4 weeks, I noticed I have not worked out on one single Thursday. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with Wednesdays.

2/22 – Planned on running 3 to 4 miles but I’m a glutton for punishment and Moj convinced me I needed to workout with her & a couple other girls from the department. I compromised by running 2 miles and then meeting them in the weight area. We then did Tabata workouts similar to last week. I’m pretty sure I smelled like pit-sweat for the rest of the day despite dousing myself in deodorant & febreeze.

2/23 – Rest day. Totally had to recover from the end of the week workouts I accomplished. And fine, I also had an accidental hangover from Friday night. Do you ever have those nights where you think you’re only going to drink one, maybe two, and then next thing you know you’re wearing hunting gloves & chasing Smokey Asses down? I’m not the only one this happens to right? Right? Accidental Hangover2/24 – I had every intention of running something but then I got distracted by uh, not running. The house got cleaned, I finished a book, I washed my truck [and yes, it did rain] and I enjoyed a pretty chill day. It was a productive day for everything else other than my glutes.

2/25 – And now, I’m just lazy. Nada. Zip. Nothing. Hopefully this week I’ll be a little more motivated with getting my miles in.

In other related news, I only have 18 days until my next half. You guys, I really like running, I do. But I would be lying if I didn’t say I was excited for this one to be over with – because I don’t have any other half’s on my schedule. I’m planning to focus on 5ks & 10ks for the rest of the year & can’t wait to work on my speed instead of distance. 

Ok, I’m on stand-by with my slow clap just waiting for you to link up below & tell me what your training/life is looking like these days! 

Friday, February 22, 2013

Meet Alfred

I’ve been blogging for like 2 years now and at first it was mostly to people who already know me in real life, but over the past year I’ve reached out and made some amazing friends in the blogosphere or reconnected with friends from my childhood.

And it occurred to me that you fantastic people don’t really know my husband, Alfred. And it saddens me a bit because he’s pretty much a badass. [he gets it from me]. And who doesn’t love a badass, am I right Bruce Willis?

But, Tamara, what do you mean badass?

Well, I would tell you, but really what fun is that when I can just show you.

Yep, that’s right, my husband is the guy that kicks in doors.
{Careful, there’s a NSFW word in there right at the end}

I was going to go on about this long list of amazing qualities he has, but seriously there’s no way that being a good dad trumps kicking in a door. I mean, he.kicked.in.a.door.

But I do have to admit, it is pretty close call.

IMG_0597 Lillie wanted a bath in the sink where she invited her dad to join her. They were both pretty pumped about it.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Love the Run You’re With 5k

So, last Saturday I raced up my running shoes with high hopes that I’ll finally jump into the 30 minute-ish timeslot for the 3.1 milers. I really felt like this was accomplished in January during Miracle Match, but that’s not what the official time said, so I wanted to really make the effort for this one.

I kind of suck at life and didn’t take any pictures though. Oops.

This is a really small race (only 72 participants!) that benefits the seniors of a local high school. But I was pleasantly surprised with the race gear – the shirt was cute, and there was a full-size Snickers bar as well as coupons and information on more upcoming races. They had me at the Snickers bar though. Seriously. If they ever made an Oreo-Snickers combination I would probably keel over from pure happiness.

It was well organized & started on time too. You can’t beat that in a race.

Anyway, my friend Sunny, who has just become a runner over these past few months and I decided to sign up together for this. She’s quite a bit faster [she finished in 27 minutes, what what!] and we had a blast riding there & back, talking about this & laughing about that. You may recognize her from some of my Vegas pictures.

DSC02307It never fails that when we get together to have a night out, our menfolk die out on us first. I know I can always count on Sunny to be my drinking partner. Real friends never let you drink alone.

This is all fun & what-not but Tamara did you do it? Did you finally get below 40 minutes?!

I’m so glad you asked imaginary reader because YES. YES I DID.


I was so pumped when I busted through the finish line, I forgot to cut off my Garmin so that last .24 is off, but dudes, check it – I’m all in the 12 minute range. For the Run of It 5k SplitsI didn’t even think it was possible for me to do that last year. I just assumed I was going to forever be a 13 minute miler. I guess that’s what you get when you assume though, am I right?

I am thrilled with my time and am incredibly excited to continue on throughout the year. Who knows maybe I’ll actually beat my real PR time I unknowingly made in 2010 [34:14]. #yeahright

A girl can hope though. And hope she shall.

Until we run again!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Training Tuesday

So, one of my favoritest people is currently training for her first half – Abbey at Finding My Forever – and last week she had decided to start documenting her awesomeness with something called Training Tuesday. I suggested maybe offering it as a link-up and BAM! That’s what we kind of got.

This will just be a way to talk about training [in any way for anything] to help hold ourselves accountable and possibly brag a bit. I mean, you ran 1 mile without stopping – you totally deserve a chance to brag about it! That shit is hard.

And even if you’re not training for anything, you’re just putting yourself out there to be healthier, to get slimmer, to whatever you can share it on Training Tuesday. Let’s say you were sitting at home and instead of eating a carton of Oreos you instead ate 20 devil baby carrots [hypothetical situation, of course] – share it here!

Abbey & I don’t discriminate – we congratulate.

So, link-up here if you’re feeling it!

My Training

I’m working on training for a very hill half-marathon (13.1 miles) but my training has been, uh, lackluster. I don’t know why but this past week has not been fun for me.

2/12 – Fat Tuesday was celebrated by uh, being fat. I didn’t run even though my schedule had 3 miles on it. 2/13 – I cross-trained with Mojgan where we did a devil incarnate tabata workout. If you’re not familiar with tabata it’s basically doing an exercise for 20 seconds on, 10 seconds on for a series of rounds (we had 8 rounds, I think this is normal?) It sounds easy, but it’s not. Here’s my log from Dailymile [friend me if you’re on there!] Tabata 2/14 – Rest day. Definitely needed it after WHY GOD WHY Wednesday with Moj.
2/15 – I went to the gym intending to run, but I only got a 3/4 mile in before I decided to take it back a notch and play some with the incline [hill training?] Total miles: 2
2/16 – For the Run of It 5k with my friend Sunny! I’ll have a post on this later, but let’s just say I’m very pleased with it.
2/17 – I was supposed to run 7 miles. I did not. I just walked lazily around my house every 7 minutes picking up after my kid. Kidding. I didn’t even do that. I did nothing.
2/18 – I planned on doing that 7 miles while Lillie napped [she and I were home sick] but I only got to 3.8 miles before I gave up and read a book instead. Oops.

And there’s my training Tuesday!

Other awesomeness: I gave up sodas/energy drinks for Lent and I almost died this weekend. I just wanted to reach for a glorious, glorious can of Dr. Pepper to wash down my habit of eating chunks of cheese as a snack, but no, I did not. All weekend I just kept thinking – “is it Easter yet?” And “Why didn’t I give up Prune Juice instead?” Since I make it a habit to not drink prunes, I would have so kicked that un-habits ass.

Alright, link-up and let us know what’s been going on in your training pants!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Turd Day

We don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. We never really have. I mean, we have probably used it as an excuse to go out and get drunk Pre-Lillie days, because it makes it less alcoholic-y if you have a legit reason.

Happy Valentine’s Day, babe – grab me another shot while you’re at the bar please?
Oh, heck, it’s a holiday, make it TWO shots!

I think maybe once Alfred bought me flowers? Or maybe that was for my birthday? Or anniversary? Oh, I don’t know, I got flowers, he got laid, who cares.

So, this day was destined to start out like any other day. In fact, I didn’t even expect him to realize what day it was. We don’t typically celebrate holidays and it’s nice that we’re both okay with that. If, for some reason, I do expect something I always make sure and let him know weeks in advance. I’m a considerate wife in that way.

But this morning I was surprised when he wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day without any prompting. [I’m about 98% positive he only knew what day it was because we had the news on this morning and it was mentioned. But I’m not picky]

Every morning when Lillie wakes up we head to the bathroom, and there she sits on her throne doing her thang while I finish getting ready. Usually Alfred is already gone, but I had woken Lillie up earlier today. Alfred walks into the bathroom as Lillie is pull-ups down on the pot.

Alfred: Happy Valentine’s Day.
[hugs & forehead kiss]
Tam: Thanks, babe. Happy Valentine’s to you too.
Alfred: So, what are you getting me for Valentine’s?
[eyebrow raise and ogling my girls ensue]
Tam: Uh, this.
[points to Lillie]
Alfred: A turd, you got me a kid turd?
Lillie: I go poo-poo on da pot-tee!!

Parenthood = 225482
Sexy time = 0

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

No Scrubs

Well, aren’t you guys in for a treat this week.

Why? Because you get to see my in two videos. Yesterday I talked about some of my favorite love songs and today, I’m singing to you about No Scrubs.

Well, technically I’m lip syncing to you about No Scrubs with a lot of other bloggers. The wonderful Sar from Life of Love convinced a bunch of us to send in videos that she’d edit so we’d all come together in this beautiful masterpiece of awesomeness.

I, of course, commissioned Lillie to help with my video. She’s a natural, I tell you. Enjoy!

In order of appearance with link to their fantastic blogs:

Erin and Jared: Love, Fun, and Football
B.Rizzle : We Eat Paleo

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

That’s My Jam: Love Songs

I thought I’d get crazy this week and link up with Shauna & Katie via vlüg for this week’s topic – Love Songs. You know, since it is Valentine’s Day this Thursday after all. At the beginning of the video you’ll hear me say something about not wanting it to be 20 minutes long so I limited my number of songs to talk about – well, that didn’t work out so well since it’s 18 minutes long. What can I say? I like to talk.

I’ve listed what I talk about below, in case you’re interested in listening to the actual versions without pitiful barking seals in the background ruining these amazing songs [aka me].

1. I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston

2. When a Man Loves a Woman – Michael Bolton

3. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion

4. I’ll Make Love To You – Boyz II Men

5.  You Make My Dreams Come True – Hall & Oates

6. I Cross My Heart – George Strait

7. I Touch Myself – The Divinyls

8. At Last – Etta James

Monday, February 11, 2013


This Weekend, I went to a body shaping class. I had originally thought my friend, Moj, had said it was Body Pump [which is a little bit different] but I was wrong. I also was under the impression that it would not 90 minutes long, again, I was wrong. It was a great class and my quads are still stupid sore. I can run 13 miles for 3 hours and have minimal soreness, but throw some weights & burpees at me and I’m crying like a small child that realized Santa isn’t real.

This Weekend, I came home with a cat. My friend, Brandi, who keeps Lillie for me on occasion [Thanks Brandi! You’re a lifesaver!] had a stray show up at her house. After talking to the husband we decided we could certainly use an outside cat to keep those pesky field mice away from invading our home [country living, gots to love it!] I’m a huge cat lover, so I was thrilled and Lillie definitely was/is too. She’s a really sweet cat and even the husband couldn’t deny her adorableness. We’ve named her Smoky. We thought about naming her Ashes, but we figured with Lillie it’d probably turn into more of an Asses and we don’t need no more asses in our house. Three is plenty.

2013-02-08 17.52.46It was an interesting 15 minute ride home, that’s for sure.

This Weekend, I made my second vlüg. I tried to reign it in, but yeah, I talk too much. So it’s nearly 18 minutes of horrible facial expressions & even more horrible singing as I talk about love songs. You can expect to laugh at me tomorrow as I link up with Katie & Shauna for That’s My Jam. Because I love you and know you absolutely cannot wait to witness the smoothness of my man voice, here are a few snapshots for your viewing pleasure. #imanidiot20130210215756(2) 20130210215756(1)This Weekend, I did not run per my training schedule for the Bearathon. I’d say it was because I was stupid sore from that body shaping class [this is partially true] but mostly it was because I wanted to take a nap instead. I moved the run from yesterday to today [which is what I did last week too], so I may just go through and adjust my schedule to do this for the remaining 6 weeks.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Resolutions 2013: Month 1

I’ve decided I’m going to update throughout the year in regards to my 2013 Resolutions. I think know it will hold me more accountable if I actively remind myself of my goals for the year. You know how you read or hear people say to write down your goals and it helps you achieve them? Yeah, I’m going for that. So, we’ll see.

I do have to be honest with you though, I’m also using this as a platform to brag a little because I’m doing pretty damn awesome at everything so far. Not giving up in a week like I normally do when it comes to resolutions really does do wonders.



  • Run faster. Goal: 12 min/mile pace or better and PR in the 5k.
    • Dudes. Dudes. I ran today. And guess what? Faster Yeah, you’re reading that right. I’m totally on pace [get it, pace. ha.] with meeting this goal! I have a 5k next Saturday [which is a mile longer than this run] but I am excited to really push myself and see where I’m at. Especially after being slightly disappointed in my last 5k time. Just a reference, I tend to run 13 minute miles. A whole minute faster for 2 miles in a row? Yeah, #beastmode bitches.
  • Lose weight. Goal: 30 lbs.
    • I’ve talked about how I am happy with my weight at 190 lbs. And I am. Which makes me wanting to really lose weight hard. I really like the way I look now and I love the way I feel. So, this resolution is mostly tied to the above one – the less I weigh, the less I have to lug across a finish line. I want to be a faster runner. And with that said, I’m officially down 6 lbs.


  • Save money. Goal: $$ mo’ money.
    • We started a Dave Ramsey class with some friends of ours [who’ve done it before]. I also downloaded an app called Mint [mint.com]. Basically, you put in all your information and it categorizes your purchases for you and helps you set up a budget. Dudes, we spend more money on fuel than we do on our mortgage. [Necessary since we commute, but still, whaaaa?] It really helped me put things into perspective on how much we were spending. Example: We rent movies from Redbox, they’re like a $1.20. No big deal. Unless you forget to bring them back. Yeah, dropping a $100 on that is not happening again. Seriously, can’t recommend that app more.


  • Become closer to God. Goal: ♥.
    • When Alfred and I first started discussing having a family, we talked about a lot of things. One of those was how we wanted to raise our child, and we wanted to do so with Faith. Well, we now have Lillie and she’s getting older, the time to do that is now. I want to be prepared for questions she’s bound to have and I want her to feel loved in our church home. I’ve gone more in the past couple months than I have in the past few years. We have a new preacher [Hi Pat!] who has definitely sparked the congregation and I feel on par with this. I even started going to a Bible Study class, where I – get this – actually contributed. #whoami
  • Read more. Goal: #13booksin13.
    • I started reading The Mortal Instruments Series. It’s hard to find time to read when I’m doing one of these three things: Taking care of my 2 year old, Taking care of my 29 year old, and taking care of my 27 year old self. But I’ve started cutting the television off [it’s quite the time succubus] and that has helped immensely. I’ve finished the first book and have started the second.

One month in and I’m feeling good about life. And you know who else should be feeling good about life?

Breenah at By Breenah. She has started to run [you know how I love it when people run!] She even ran in 36 degrees today, friends. If you have a chance, go check her out and/or give her a thumbs up tweet @bybreenah ! #motivationstation in full effect and no shame.

Katie from State of Change. [She’s fantastic, seriously, we have this textual relationship that’s so hot and steamy. Literally. We kinda talked about poop today.] She recently got herself a jogging stroller [can anyone say milf?] and is going to become a personal trainer. Amazeballs. ‘Nuff said.

Kate from Begin Anyway. Dudes, she totally ran 3 miles in under 11 minute pace. and on a treadmill. I find I run faster outside, so major props to her. You’re a rockstar.

If you’re super proud of yourself for something, but kind of hate bragging about it – just tell me. I have no problem doing it for you. As I’ve said before, I like cheering for people. Every one deserves a slow clap in their life, at least once, and I can totally do that for you.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Embarrassing Celebrity Crushes

Linking up with Em, Lin & Meg for this Thursday’s round of randomness.

1. Charlie Day [Lin and I are in total agreement on this hairy elf of a man] I first laid eyes on this man when watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He’s kind of gross, and weird, and awkward in the show but something just came through to me. I can’t resist him. You may also recognize him from Horrible Bosses.

2. Robert Downey Jr. I remember seeing him on Ally McBeal [Dancing baby, anyone?] and thinking “Wow, that’s a damn good looking man” and then being quickly grossed out about it since I was only like 16 at the time. But now that I’ve been legal for the past 10 years, it’s totally cool, right? He also pretty much sealed the deal for me the day I watched him in Iron Man too. 

3. Matthew Lewis aka Neville Longbottom. I do not deny I have a geek streak in me, and I will never turn over my Harry Potter series despite numerous attempts by my husband in an attempt to clean out my bookcase. I mean, he went from this -

to this -

Yeah. That’s right ladies. And he’s got the wand to prove it.

4. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He’s probably really not all that embarrassing right now. But at one point, yes, yes he was. Who remembers 3rd Rock from the Sun?

He is just really an incredible actor and if I see he’s in a movie, odds are it’s going in my pants dvd player. 

Do you have any embarrassing celebrity crushes?

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Ten on Tuesday

linking up with Lin & Amber

1. We had a friend-infested time this past weekend where Lillie played pretty hard and mama accidentally drank pretty damn hard, which resulted in moving my 5 mile run from Sunday to Monday. Totally worth it.

2. Who needs cable when you have this to watch? I mean, check out Lillie, she gets on that thing like a freaking pro. I’m not lying though when I say us adults laughed for a good 10 minutes at them.

3. My best friend can wear the hell out of a Moby wrap. It’s pretty useful for you soon-to-be-mamas out there, but I think Emilie just likes to sport it to embarrass her husband. Tam-approved.IMG_0513 4. I did not watch the Superbowl, nor did I see the half-time show. Oops.

5. I apologize for the sexiness in my voice, I blame the fact the kids kept asking me to sing over & over again and not the fact that I sound like a screeching cat when I sing.

6. I’ve made it pretty clear that I love to cheer people on in their fitness endeavors. Sometimes having that little extra push is all you need to git-r-done. So, when friends on twitter post things like “I don’t want to run”, I usually respond with this – RunTweetAnd yesterday they totally got me back when I lacking motivation for my 5 miles because this popped up on my phone [during the middle of my run!] and I pretty much died laughing. Thanks Katie! #motivationstation RunTamTweet 7. Kate [in first picture of #6!] posted a very sexy photo of herself on her blog today. I told her I would do the same. Nothing like a little glistening sweat to make the menfolk in our life go crazy, am I right?IMG_0479 8. I’m considering doing another vlüg, but have no idea what you lovely people would like to hear about. Ideas are welcome! Amanda at Smidgen of Spice suggested I try to bounce quarters off my own ass per this post. Thanks for that one, Amanda! [Also, go congratulate her on her engagement! I love the way her fiancé proposed!]

9. I signed up for a 5k next weekend, I’m hoping to improve my time and finally make it back into the 30:00ish time. My friend Sunny [her daughter is the one in the trampoline video] is running and quite a bit faster than me, so the plan is maybe if I run with her, I’ll be faster. Sounds good, right?

10. Has anyone been to a Body Pump class? The devil woman I love to hate, Moj, invited me to a class but I’ve never been. What should I expect? You know, other than slowly dying from the pain.

Friday, February 1, 2013


You’ve done it. You’ve made the decision to be healthier, to be happier, to be a fucking supermodel. But that’s the easy part. The hard part?

Learning to be okay in spandex.

Or learning to be okay around other people in spandex while you’re flooding sweat from every cellulite dimple you’ve so lovingly earned over the past 27 years.


When I first started going to the gym [I work at a University where I am constantly surrounded by 20 year old size zeros who look amazing and never drop an ounce of sweat] I was really self-conscious. Like I had mentioned before, when I first started this journey I wore a pair of cotton capris that I bought at Wal-Mart and any old cotton shirt I could find that didn’t cling to any spare muffins I was carrying around. There’s nothing wrong with cotton, but it’s really not conducive to keeping sweat away from you. It gets all wet, and clingy then starts yellowing, and well, I sweat like a man. Being self-conscious those first few months, I always made sure that the majority of my butt was covered. I just felt it was far too wide to fit into anything form fitting and be flattering. I really ended up making myself more miserable the first few months at the gym than I should have. Why?

Because I was more concerned with what other people would think of me than what I should have been concerned about.

Getting my sweat on.

The truth is you don’t have to wear tight fitting clothes to the gym to get your sweat on, but it’s one of the perks of feeling like a ‘true workout warrior’[at least for me] when you can slide on a pair of skin-tight capris and think “Damn, now that’s an ass I can bounce a quarter off of.” IMG_0500

And I do. I bounce quarters off of it. Okay, fine, I don’t, but not because I haven’t tried, it’s just really hard throwing quarters at your own ass. And it never fails someone sees you try, and explaining that?  Awk.ward.

You can wear whatever you want to the gym and as long as you are consistent with your efforts, you will see results. 90% of the time I wear capris because of chub rub. The  other 10% I’ll wear shorts, but only on days I know I won’t be running. Like if I’m doing weights. Or in an Oreo eating contest. [What? It could happen.]20121126132358

You see that outfit? I obviously have gotten past my fear of looking like an idiot in the gym.

If at 200 lbs I can get past my fear of jiggling in front of others, I have no doubt you can too. So, here’s me – helping you – work on that. Just go with me on this.

Make a list of everything you love physically about yourself. See what tops that list. Chances are it’s going to be something like your smile or your eyes [you do have really lovely eyes, by the way]. And then when you’re done, make a list of things you want to put on that list. Did you putt perkier butt? Or sexy legs? Or pointy elbows? [What? I don’t know. This is your list.] and then…

Go look at yourself in a mirror and repeat this, “I am a bad ass. Tamara says so. She is awesome. God, she’s so awesome. I wish she was here right now. Sigh. Wait, where was I? I am a bad ass not a fat ass. BAD ASS. I can do this. This is my journey, not anyone else’s and if they have an issue, they can eat my sweaty cotton t-shirt. I will get <insert pointy elbows here>, dammit!”

Once you’re done pumping yourself up in the mirror [you, sexy beast, you] I want you to beeline it to the gym. When you get there, find a spot that’s really great for people-watching [like on the janky looking bicycle in the back corner.] And for the next 15 minutes I want you to count the number of people who you see actually turn around and watch you. Like not peek up for a second when you walk by them, but like turn and watch you.

What’s your number? Is it closer to zero than closer to a 100 [which is what it felt like for me] You know why? It’s because no one cares. No one cares that you have a little extra junk in the trunk in those pants, they are all far too worried about their own problems than to care about yours. That may sound a little harsh, but it’s true.

The only person who can make the change that you want is YOU. Stop making excuses and just push that voice of insecurity down. Push it down as many times as you have too and eventually, it will stop getting up.

And when it does, you’ll pull on your spandex capris, you’ll turn and look at that bounce-tastic ass in the mirror and you’ll say, “Damn, Tam was right. I am a bad ass. Now where the fuck is my quarter?”