Monday, December 15, 2014

WW – Week 7 – Holiday Maintenance

Week 7: December 8 – December 14

Original Weight: 197.6 lbs

Week 7 Starting Weight: 191.8 lbs
Current Weight: 190.2 lbs
Weekly Weight Loss/Gain: –1.6 lbs

Total weight loss: –7.4 lbs

Current Goal: 183.7 lbs
Ultimate Goal: 155 lbs

Week 6 Goals:
*Focus on my goal every time I feel myself falling down the rabbit hole of Oreos:
I probably made a solid “B” on this goal. A good 85% percent of the time I stopped myself from bingeing/eating excessively by just thinking about where I want to be on August 23, 2015 when I turn 30 – the best version of me possible.

After two weeks of gains, it was nice to step on the scale this morning and see a loss. I think talking about my own emotional eating last week helped really put things into perspective for me. It was a lot easier telling myself to stop (no binges!) and focus on my long-term goal after typing/talking it out.

I also received some really great advice that helped take the pressure I was putting on myself to LOSE LOSE LOSE by Miss Nutralicious (check her out, she’s wonderful!):

Also, real thing that I learned at nutrition school:
We were taught to help clients focus on maintaining weight instead of losing weight during November and December. Everyone gets so crazy busy during the holidays that they usually gain weight, so maintenance is a bigger goal. So don't beat yourself up if you maintain weight instead of lose during this month. Keep doing your healthy thang and you'll get where you want to be! :)

I decided that instead of beating myself up or telling myself NO during holiday shenanigans (we had two work parties last week I attended) – I would eat what I wanted but really listen to my hunger cues and not just blindly eat/snack. I’m going to still track my points, work on eating more filling foods and do everything else but move my focus more to maintenance over the holidays. I want to enjoy this time with my friends and family without having everything dictated by food. It worked this past week, so I feel good about this plan until after the New Years.

Another part of the emotional eating I didn’t address last week is that sometimes I think that, “Wow, I HAVE to eat this because I may never get to eat it again” – we just never knew how much food or what was going to be available to us growing up. I don’t ever remember being hungry growing up but then again, maybe it was just normal to us to have little, so we did with it what we could?

Just another aspect to this weight loss thing I have to remind myself about – my food intake is only dependent on me at this point. No one else. I buy the food, I prepare the food, I put the food in my mouth – anything beyond that is blaming someone else for my mistakes. I don’t like doing that in any other aspect of my life, so why should I do it when it comes to my nutrition?

Week 7 Personal Goal:
*Work on incorporating more vegetables into my meals.

Roasted Broccoli

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Lillie Lately v.6

 Lillie Lately_update

Lillie Lately v.1; v.2; v.3; v.4 & v.5

Lillie has two princess bedtime story books. She’s really been into them lately and I let her choose which princess book she gets to read from each night. Recently, I’ve been working on teaching her left from right.

Me: [holding both books up in front of her] Which book do you want to read from – the left or the right?
Lillie: [points to left book]
Me: Which one is it? The left or the right?
Lillie: [points to the princess on the cover, Tiana] This one.
Me: No. Not the princess. Which book do you want – the book in my left hand or the right hand?
Lillie: The right.
Me: No, that’s the left book.
Lillie: Dat’s right.
Me: No, this is the right book (pointing to right book) and THIS is the left (pointing to left)
Lillie: No, mama. Dis is the WHITE book.
Me: …
White vs Right

Getting ready for school one morning, I’ve laid out a dress for Lillie to wear. She’s excited because well, she likes dresses. She’s changing from her pajamas.

Lillie: [shirt is stuck on her head] Silly shirt, you’re so taffy!
Me: [laughing] Did you say taffy?
Lillie: Yeah, silly me!
Me: What does taffy even mean?
Lillie: Um, um. It’s um, when like you’re trying to be nice and you are and you don’t throw balls at people’s faces. That’s taffy.

And here I thought it was candy. Silly me.

I was roasting brussel sprouts in the oven for dinner. Lillie comes walking into the kitchen from the hallway.

Lillie: Mama, someone farted.
Me: Uhm, I think that’s just dinner in the oven.
Lillie: No. I think someone farted.

I’ll give it to her though – brussel sprouts do smell a little bit like fart.

Lillie has been excited about Christmas since early November. She asked to set up our tree nearly every day for a month. When we I finally managed to get it together and pull it all out, she was thrilled. That evening we were sitting on the couch, looking at the tree and winding down for the day.

Lillie: Mama, is it Christmas?
Me: No, honey. It’s not for a few more weeks. We just put the tree up today to get ready for Christmas.

Lillie sits in silent for a moment, almost like she’s gathering her thoughts.

Lillie: Mama, will you please tell me when it’s Christmas?
Me: [laughing] You’ll know when it’s Christmas. I promise.
Lillie: But you will tell me, right mama?!
Me: [still laughing] Yes, I’ll tell you.
Lillie: YAY!

School Pics 2014

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

WW – Week 6 – Emotional Eating

Week 6: December 1 – December 7

Original Weight: 197.6

Week 6 Starting Weight: 191.4 lbs
Current Weight: 191.8 lbs
Weekly Weight Loss/Gain: +.4 lbs

Total weight Loss: –5.8 lbs

Current Goal: 183.7 lbs

I gained again this week. Unlike last week though, I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it. And honestly? It’s probably less about the number increase and more about my lack of self-control when it comes to food. Specifically when that food becomes tied to my emotions.

Growing up we were poor. Mom raised 3 children on a waitress’ salary which is hard enough but then throw in the fact that she was dealing with her own demons (alcoholism and a smoker), we just did not have the disposable income in our life to have say, sodas on hand to drink whenever we wanted. Those were special moments and trust me, they were never name brand. Even going to McDonald’s was a luxury for us.

I am not ashamed of my childhood. My mother did the best she could with what she had. I always knew I was loved but I also was very aware of our social status in comparison with my friends/classmates. Especially when I hit middle school and things like name-brand shoes were popular and shopping at Goodwill was not.

When I started making my own money and could essentially afford a $6 meal deal from Sonic – I did (and I did it a lot). It somehow (and still does on occasion) makes me feel like I’ve stepped into a higher social class. It feels good knowing I can provide my daughter with more than what I had growing up.

I know it sounds silly but having the option/the ability to eat whatever the hell I want to reminds me of everything I didn’t have growing up and how much I do have now in comparison. It’s a positive reinforcement that I’m on the right track – at least in the sense of providing for my family.

When I start to limit that or recognize that I’m limiting it (no matter that it’s because I want to a better version of myself) it’s like my brain is all “FUCK THAT. You have worked hard, you deserve to eat that 1500 calorie burger.” And I listen. Because it makes sense to me.

When I type it out it sounds ridiculous. I’m also a people pleaser and sometimes that even makes it hard for me to tell myself no, even when I know I won’t like the future outcome.

I hope this doesn’t come off as one big excuse. It’s not. I know it’s my fault that I chose to binge eat that cookie dough, I could have walked away but I didn’t. There’s a consequence to every action and apparently this week it was a gain. All I can do is try to be better this week.

Last week goals:
*Prepare lunches/snacks for the weekdays – did it! Didn’t hit the vending machine once.
*Track my food on Saturday & Sunday – did it! It didn’t seem to help since I was being all emotional about shit but hey, it’s a start.

Weekly Personal Goal:
*Focus on my goal every time I feel myself falling down the rabbit hole of Oreos.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

WW – Week 4 & 5

I didn’t post last Monday due to the awesomeness of being on vacation for Thanksgiving. My priority was not to blog and instead do things like do laundry & play with my kid. I did, however, still weigh in.

Week 4: November 17 – November 23

Original Weight: 197.6
Week 4 starting weight: 191.4
Current Weight: 191
Weekly Weight Loss: –.04 lbs

Total Weight Loss: – 6.6 lbs

Our water heater busted this week, which flooded the flooring in our kitchen, living room & hallway so we put new flooring in. It totally messed up my planning & instead of working around it, I used it as an excuse and didn’t put in the effort with my food choices as I should have. I was actually pretty surprised to even see a loss. New Floors

Scraping up carpet & tile is some serious business. Even Lillie got in on the action. (Actually she asked to watch television and we told her this was way more fun than that! I don’t think she quite believed us but she was a trooper anyhow.)

Alfred laid most of the flooring, I left Friday morning with just a small portion of the hallway done and came back that evening after work to everything done except maybe a 3x15 foot section. It was like walking into a whole new house. Even Lillie said, “Oh wow” when we stepped through the door.

Also, for anyone who ever decides to rip out their own carpet – you will be amazed at how gross it is underneath. We even found a Big Red stain underneath it that happened a few years ago that wasn’t visible from the top of the carpet.

We decided last year that we were really going to start making our home ours and updating it in the way we want. We moved in around 8 years ago but have always toyed with the idea of building our own home so kind of let things go. With Alfred starting his own business and investing money/time into that, building our own home just doesn’t carry the same interest to us as it did before. Our dreams have shifted. I’m excited for the changes we have planned.

On to Week 5!

Week 5: November 24 – November 30

Original Weight: 197.6 lbs

Week 5 Starting Weight: 191 lbs
Current Weight: 191.4
Weekly Weight Loss/Gain: +.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: –6.2 lbs

*Current Goal:183.7 lbs*
Ultimate Goal: 155 lbs

Since starting Weight Watchers this is my first gain. I felt a little indifferent about it. Probably because I know it’s my fault. I let the week get away from me by not planning and my activity was low. Straight up, I’m the only one to blame for it and I knew it was coming. I’m happy it wasn’t more but now that I think about it – it sucks that I’m back where I was two weeks ago. I’m hoping that this week back at work I can get into my routine to keep me on track.

Weekends are the hardest for me since there’s no real structure – and with Thanksgiving traveling and family time, I just ate what I wanted when I wanted. I also drank a few more calories than probably necessary but to be fair, I did stay up for 39 hours straight Black Friday shopping so drinking a few Coke’s was the only way that happened.

Also, gummy worms. Gummy worms helped that happen.

Goals for this week:

*Prepare lunches/snacks for the weekdays
*Track my food on Saturday & Sunday

Officially been awake for over 24 hours now. #blackfriday #hashtagwow

A photo posted by Tamara Lehmann (@tamara0827) on