WW – Week 7 – Holiday Maintenance

Week 7: December 8 – December 14

Original Weight: 197.6 lbs

Week 7 Starting Weight: 191.8 lbs
Current Weight: 190.2 lbs
Weekly Weight Loss/Gain: –1.6 lbs

Total weight loss: –7.4 lbs

Current Goal: 183.7 lbs
Ultimate Goal: 155 lbs

Week 6 Goals:
*Focus on my goal every time I feel myself falling down the rabbit hole of Oreos:
I probably made a solid “B” on this goal. A good 85% percent of the time I stopped myself from bingeing/eating excessively by just thinking about where I want to be on August 23, 2015 when I turn 30 – the best version of me possible.

After two weeks of gains, it was nice to step on the scale this morning and see a loss. I think talking about my own emotional eating last week helped really put things into perspective for me. It was a lot easier telling myself to stop (no binges!) and focus on my long-term goal after typing/talking it out.

I also received some really great advice that helped take the pressure I was putting on myself to LOSE LOSE LOSE by Miss Nutralicious (check her out, she’s wonderful!):

Also, real thing that I learned at nutrition school:
We were taught to help clients focus on maintaining weight instead of losing weight during November and December. Everyone gets so crazy busy during the holidays that they usually gain weight, so maintenance is a bigger goal. So don't beat yourself up if you maintain weight instead of lose during this month. Keep doing your healthy thang and you'll get where you want to be! :)

I decided that instead of beating myself up or telling myself NO during holiday shenanigans (we had two work parties last week I attended) – I would eat what I wanted but really listen to my hunger cues and not just blindly eat/snack. I’m going to still track my points, work on eating more filling foods and do everything else but move my focus more to maintenance over the holidays. I want to enjoy this time with my friends and family without having everything dictated by food. It worked this past week, so I feel good about this plan until after the New Years.

Another part of the emotional eating I didn’t address last week is that sometimes I think that, “Wow, I HAVE to eat this because I may never get to eat it again” – we just never knew how much food or what was going to be available to us growing up. I don’t ever remember being hungry growing up but then again, maybe it was just normal to us to have little, so we did with it what we could?

Just another aspect to this weight loss thing I have to remind myself about – my food intake is only dependent on me at this point. No one else. I buy the food, I prepare the food, I put the food in my mouth – anything beyond that is blaming someone else for my mistakes. I don’t like doing that in any other aspect of my life, so why should I do it when it comes to my nutrition?

Week 7 Personal Goal:
*Work on incorporating more vegetables into my meals.

WW – Week 6 – Emotional Eating

Week 6: December 1 – December 7

Original Weight: 197.6

Week 6 Starting Weight: 191.4 lbs
Current Weight: 191.8 lbs
Weekly Weight Loss/Gain: +.4 lbs

Total weight Loss: –5.8 lbs

Current Goal: 183.7 lbs

I gained again this week. Unlike last week though, I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it. And honestly? It’s probably less about the number increase and more about my lack of self-control when it comes to food. Specifically when that food becomes tied to my emotions.

Growing up we were poor. Mom raised 3 children on a waitress’ salary which is hard enough but then throw in the fact that she was dealing with her own demons (alcoholism and a smoker), we just did not have the disposable income in our life to have say, sodas on hand to drink whenever we wanted. Those were special moments and trust me, they were never name brand. Even going to McDonald’s was a luxury for us.

I am not ashamed of my childhood. My mother did the best she could with what she had. I always knew I was loved but I also was very aware of our social status in comparison with my friends/classmates. Especially when I hit middle school and things like name-brand shoes were popular and shopping at Goodwill was not.

When I started making my own money and could essentially afford a $6 meal deal from Sonic – I did (and I did it a lot). It somehow (and still does on occasion) makes me feel like I’ve stepped into a higher social class. It feels good knowing I can provide my daughter with more than what I had growing up.

I know it sounds silly but having the option/the ability to eat whatever the hell I want to reminds me of everything I didn’t have growing up and how much I do have now in comparison. It’s a positive reinforcement that I’m on the right track – at least in the sense of providing for my family.

When I start to limit that or recognize that I’m limiting it (no matter that it’s because I want to a better version of myself) it’s like my brain is all “FUCK THAT. You have worked hard, you deserve to eat that 1500 calorie burger.” And I listen. Because it makes sense to me.

When I type it out it sounds ridiculous. I’m also a people pleaser and sometimes that even makes it hard for me to tell myself no, even when I know I won’t like the future outcome.

I hope this doesn’t come off as one big excuse. It’s not. I know it’s my fault that I chose to binge eat that cookie dough, I could have walked away but I didn’t. There’s a consequence to every action and apparently this week it was a gain. All I can do is try to be better this week.

Last week goals:
*Prepare lunches/snacks for the weekdays – did it! Didn’t hit the vending machine once.
*Track my food on Saturday & Sunday – did it! It didn’t seem to help since I was being all emotional about shit but hey, it’s a start.

Weekly Personal Goal:
*Focus on my goal every time I feel myself falling down the rabbit hole of Oreos.

WW – Week 2

I’m still trying to figure out how I want to format these posts – so, things may change up weekly until I get it down but the information should stay relatively the same.

Week 2: November 3 -November 9

Original Weight:197.6 lbs

Week 2 Starting Weight: 195.2 lbs
Current Weight: 193 lbs
Weekly Weight Loss: -2.2 lbs

Total weight loss: –4.6 lbs

*Current Goal: 183.7 lbs*
Ultimate Goal: 155 lbs

I am also going to add my measurements - just as another form of progress. I forgot to include them on last weeks post & I re-measured this morning just because, so this is a 2 weeks difference but my plan is to only update monthly.

	10/27/2014	11/10/2014	Change (+/-)
Hips:	44	43	-1 in
Waist:	34	33	-1 in
Bust:	39	39	0
Rt. Thigh:	27.5	27.5	0
Lt. Thigh:	27	27	0
Rt. Arm:	12.5	12.5	0
Lt. Arm:	12	12	0
Total loss:			-2 inches

I feel good about this past week. Although, right now when I get on the scale it doesn’t really feel like a loss. Since these pounds are ones I’ve lost once and have now regained, it doesn’t feel really that special as it did the first time. I can feel myself saying it doesn’t really matter, I shouldn’t have gained it back in the first place, and why even bother. Which is ridiculous. I made an active effort this week to clean up my food & consciously made good decisions, so I should be celebrating staying on track.

I’ve heard & read people knocking Weight Watchers because it doesn’t really teach you how to eat – it gives you points and you use them how you want. You want to spend 20 points on McDonald’s Angus Mushroom & Swiss Hamburger, go right on ahead. Sure, let’s add large fries for 14 points and just eat nothing for the rest of the day.

Technically, you can lose weight doing that. But I think those people who are using it in that way are setting themselves up for failure & really not interested in changing their life anyway. They want a quick fix & then it gives the program a bad name. You could probably say the same for other programs – Paleo, Atkins, etc. If you cheat the system, it’s probably not going to work long-term for you. You have to be willing to recognize & take responsibility for what you’re doing wrong and then figure out how you will overcome it.

Mine is my diet. I feel like I eat okay – which means I probably do not at all. I snack a lot and while I really do enjoy vegetables/fruits I’m more prone to reaching for a bag of chips than an apple. It seems more convenient and so much more satisfying.

So, I’m really trying to focus on cleaning up my diet so that this a sustainable change. I’m not going balls to the wall right away (that in the past has been a recipe for disaster). It’s just that once I reach my goal, I know I’m going to have to figure out how to maintain – and if I can work on that while I reach towards my goal, I think I will be in a much better place than that of complete restriction.

I actually had a Jack-in-the-Box burger & curly fries last week because I simply could not get them out of my head. I figured if I wanted them that bad, why not, so I did – and they were wonderful. I still managed to lose because the rest of my food for the week was mostly lean meats, vegetables & fruits. I’ve been working on not eye-balling things either. Like if I track a tbsp of peanut butter, it’s actually a tablespoon. It’s been a little eye-opening to me this past week in regards to my portions.

In fitness related news, I attended my orientation for Team Beef last night & officially started half-marathon training today! I’ll share more about that in a separate post later this week.

Also, if you’re not already following Holly from My Own Kind of Beautiful, check her out & give her some love. She’s a runner but is just starting weight lifting – and I can’t wait to see her progress!