Little Things

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up). It’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,15, 16, 17, 18,19, 20 & 21.

Week 22

Appreciating the Small Things
What are some small things you are grateful for?

9 years ago I married my husband. Total years we’ve been together 13. I’ve almost had him in my life longer than I haven’t had in him my life – we started dating when I was 16. Such babies. 

I won’t pretend and say our life together has been picture perfect, there has been fights, accusations & lies directed towards/at each other but I would still say we have a very happy marriage. The ups we have had very much outweigh and outnumber the downs we have. I think the one constant that has helped us is being appreciative of what the other person brings into our marriage.

Alfred is one of the most driven people I know and he knows how to push to get what he wants – I, on the other hand, am much more laidback, go with the flow. The balance this not only plays in our marriage but in other aspects of our life is something we had to get used to but once we did, it’s helped me push for more out of my life and allowed him to pull the reins in once in a while and just enjoy life.

It’s the little things in life that can either prop you up or push you down, most of the time you don’t even realize it until it’s too late and an argument has began. I try really hard to make sure he knows I appreciate all the things he does & I feel like he does it with me as well.  

Example 1: Even though it’s Alfred’s “job” to take out the trash, I still tell him thank you every time he does it (even if there is some prodding on my part) and whenever I make dinner, the first thing out of his mouth after the first bite is shoved in is thank you.

Example 2: Running is not Alfred’s thing. But he’s supportive and will come to support me in my races even though he basically just sits there and watches sweaty people jump up & down and apply band-aids to places people shouldn’t have to apply band-aids too. Farming is his thing, he grew up with it, so I’m clueless in that aspect & am only vaguely interested most of the time but I make sure to acknowledge what’s going on his world so we can talk about it whenever he’s had a rough day.

This lined up pretty well with it being our anniversary and the weekly writing prompt. One might think I planned it that way, but one would be wrong.

In any case, here’s to 9 years of all the small things he’s done for me that he didn’t have to do but I’m totally glad he did. Hopefully I can squeeze at least 9 more out of him. I think I got it.

What small things in your life do you appreciate?

Just Breathe

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up). It’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,15, 16, 17, 18,19 & 20.

Week 21!

Just Breathe
When you are busy how do you handle yourself?
Do you force yourself to take breaks or do you push through?

Whenever I’m in go-mode, I’m all for pushing through. I don’t want to stop until it’s done and sometimes that can leave me really frustrated. Like, yelling at nothing frustrated. It’s actually pretty embarrassing and has probably only been witnessed by other people a handful of times – at least one of those times at the gym when I simply couldn’t get my body to do what I thought it should. I’m also a crier, so yay for double the embarrassment!

As I’ve grown older I’ve learned that sometimes stepping away from something particularly stressful for even a few moments can help put a new perspective on things. Even if it’s a quick let me close my eyes for 15 minutes while I breathe deeply and try my hardest not to pull my hair out. I think for the most part I have a handle on my frustrations whenever I can see what the cause of them are. More often than I really care to admit (but I will because, uh, blog life, yo) it’s because of something I failed to do. I didn’t wake up 10 minutes earlier because I was being lazy or I should have gotten gas last night when the reminder light came on and I had time to do so.

It sucks major balls to recognize that your frustrations are typically your fault and not someone else’s. Sometimes I just want to blame the world for my problems but the only one who can be the issuer of my own happiness, my own calm, is me. Ugh, self-reflection, am I right folks?

Your turn! Tell me how you handle stressful situations!

Listen to Your Heart

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up). It’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,15, 16, 17, 18 & 19.

Week 20!

Listen To Your Heart
Do you believe in intuition? If you’re a Christian (in any capacity) do you believe that little voice is God warning you about something? Do you truly listen to your heart when it speaks?

I do believe that little voice, that moment of clarity, is often God talking to us – it’s just up to us if we’re going to listen. I also think that voice is sometimes imitated by Satan and it can be really hard to decipher between the two when you’re battling something within yourself. What seems to work for me is picturing the outcome – am I going to hurt myself or others? If so, will it be worth it in the long haul? Will I be proud of my decision at the end of the day? Will I still be someone my daughter will be proud to call a mother?

Answering the questions truthfully through prayer have helped given me insight into the type of person I want to be. I want to be the person who listens. Not just to people’s words but to their actions and also through mine. Sometimes it’s really hard and all I really think I want to do is go through the action of living, because it seems easier. It’s hard being there for someone when you don’t know how to be there for yourself, how to listen to your self, to your inner voice, to your intuition, to God.

Do what you know in your heart is right and the rest will follow.  

 

Helping Others

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up). It’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,15, 16, 17 & 18.

Week 19!

Helping Others
How have you helped someone?
The moment can be big or small – just as long as you made someone smile :)

I’m having a hard time thinking of something that I specifically have done to help someone else without either sounding incredibly cocky or relaying information that perhaps that person doesn’t want out in the internet lands.

I try every day to make myself as helpful as possible to the people I engage with on a daily basis – my husband, my daughter, my co-workers. I’ve found that usually kindness is met with kindness and offering a helping hand is also met with a hand to pull you up when you’re down in the ground. Not always but enough for me to justify stepping out of the comfort of my own tiny world to stand up for someone, or offer food & money for those in need.

I’m always interested in learning why people do the things they do, so when someone is explaining something to me (or I’ve read something) I live to dive into the process that made them think that action was okay. I’m fascinated by it and can often find their logic in it – even if the act itself is completely illogical.

For example, I can understand why shaken baby syndrome even exists. That doesn’t mean I think it should – it just means that I have also dealt with those feelings of being overwhelmed & tired & depressed – and so while it isn’t logical I can understand why some parents think it is in the short span of time it can happen. I hate that I feel that way and in no way condone the act but being able to be there for parents who have felt the same way by sharing my post-partum story has probably been pretty helpful. Or at least I hope it has.

 

How do you help others?
Or have others helped you in a time you thought you were alone?

Forgiveness

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up and unless I forgot about it like I did this week…and last week, oops). It’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,15, 16 & 17.

Week 18.

Let It Go
(Yes, I totally based the title off the theme song from Frozen. No shame.)
How do you forgive? Can you forget?

Forgiveness can be really hard – especially if something has truly hurt or disappointed you or just straight out surprised you (in a bad way). I know I’ve had more than my fair share of those moments in my life but whenever something like that happens, I step back. I try to put myself in their shoes and see it from their perspective. Sometimes I can understand where the hurting me came from and in those instances, forgiveness seems to come easy. I don’t forget how they hurt me though but I try to learn from it. I am more cautious of our relationship and building that trust up is a process but it can be done.

The problem lies within those hurtful things that I don’t understand, where I can’t see their reasoning clearly – and that’s what muddles my forgiveness gene. It takes soul searching, time and prayer for me personally to push past that.

Once I was hurt by a friend (or who I thought was a friend) and I couldn’t understand why she’d do something like that, it still baffles me to be quite honest, and so I really tried to push past it and let it go. We didn’t talk for months and then randomly ran into each other one day, it took everything I had not to push her down 3rd grade style, kick dirt in her face and yell at her. Instead, I focused on everything that was great in my life and smiled politely while we small talked before going on our way to our separate lives.

I cried later to Alfred who very accurately reminded me of all the drama that surrounded this person and how much negativity I had in my life when she was around. Having someone there to be objective about a situation really does help me find my happy place where I’m comfortable giving forgiveness. Sometimes people don’t even know I have (or more than likely that don’t even know it was warranted in the first place) forgiven them and it’s just easier to move on with life without making a scene about it. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s needed forgiveness before – so thinking about that keeps me in check.

Do you have a hard time forgiving others?
Can you just let it go?

Silver Linings

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up and unless I forgot about it like I did this week, oops) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14,15 & 16.

Week 17!

Silver Linings
When things get tough, how do you emotionally handle the situation?
Are you a glass half-full or a glass half-empty?

I’m most certainly an optimist and so, my glass is always half-full.

After my first half-marathon in Las Vegas with my running buddy, Sunny.

I’ve had some really terrible things happen in my life (like most people) and the only way I’ve ever known to deal with those things is to smile through it. Sure, I get down on myself or frustrated with a situation but I don’t let those things permanently affect my life or the people in my life. We only have one short life to lead, why would I want to keep it miserable when I have a choice in making it awesome?

We don’t always have a choice in what happens to us but we do have a choice in how we react to it. My reaction is to usually breathe deeply, push forward and hope that His plan and my actions coincide. Silver linings are in everything – sometimes it just takes a little distance to see them.

Is there something in your life where the silver lining wasn’t so easily seen?

Jealous Much?

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 & 15.

Halfway done, woohoo!
On to Week 16!

Jealous Much?
Have you ever caught yourself being the green-eyed monster?

Oh, yes. The insane amount of connections we have available to us to witness others joys & accomplishments & bragging certainly pull my green-eyed monster out from the depths of my soul. In my early 20s, this jealous would eat at me. I mean, I was deserving! Why didn’t wonderful things happen to me as they seemed to happen so easily for others?!

Oh to be 21 again.

But as I’ve grown and matured, as easy as that jealousy surfaces it’s becoming just as easy to push it back down. Something that has really helped me with this is that over the past year I’ve made a conscious effort that when those feelings arose, I’d say a simple prayer thanking the Lord for all that He has given me instead of focusing on what I thought He should have given me. It’s not only a great way to say thanks but to also remind myself of all that I am blessed with.

I think our society tends to focus a lot on what the next big thing is (technology, vacations, viral videos) and forgets that things don’t need to be advanced to be beautiful. It’s the simplest things we should be grateful for that we forget about.

Breathing.

I am currently breathing. How wonderful and blessed am I to simply acknowledge the fact that I am alive? I am alive! I can walk, I can run, I can provide for my family, I can hug my family, I laugh, I live, I am blessed. 

Jealousy certainly comes around from time to time but I refuse to make it a permanent home in my heart, I have too much awesome stuff there already, I don’t need something as crappy as that to tear that away. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

How do you handle jealousy?

 

Who is your Biggest Competitor?

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 & 14.

Week 15!

Who is your biggest competitor?
Do you compete with yourself or with others?

I’ve struggled with comparing myself to others – especially in this social media focused world – but overall, it’s usually with myself. Of course, the first thing I think of is running. Over the past couple of years, I’ve pushed myself harder and further than I ever dreamed. And I did it all while maintaining a below average running pace despite the fact that I’m young and in decent shape. And you know, had people pushing two kids in strollers passing me while on the phone.

But when doubts started to creep in, I’d just remind myself at how far I have come – one of the perks of blogging about it for sure. I’d just be able to look back at my previous times or race recaps and instantly be transported to my first 10k, or half, and that was enough for me to keep pushing through.

Who do you compete with?

Meeting New People

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 & 13. 

Week 14!

Meeting New People
Do you make friends easily? Does it make you anxious?

Yes, I think I make friends easily or at the very least I think I’m pretty easy to get along with. In the previous post, I mentioned how I’m cautious when it comes to allowing new people into our life but the actually meeting new people part when we’re out and about – comes fairly easy to me. As it does for Alfred, probably why we always get confused for swingers (true story). We’re just friendly people.

Anyway, we moved around a lot growing up and so I’ve had a lot of experience with introducing myself to people. I saw how friendly my mom was in her job (she’s a waitress) and I loved watching her interact with people, she was always so easygoing and laughing. The thing I’ve found is people like to laugh and so they like to be around people who make them laugh, and that’s kind of just how I’ve always rolled. My sister & brother are the same way. We can laugh for hours at nothing and everything.

My husband tells me that’s why we have chipmunk cheeks. The muscles are strong in these ones.

How do you feel about meeting new people?

Do you gravitate towards them or shy away?

Relationship vs. Relationshit

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12.

Week 13!

Relationships vs. Relationshits

I feel like the descriptors of this particular week from the two articles mentioned above make this definitely sound like a intimate relationship type of prompt. But seeing as I’ve been with the same guy for the past 13 years – it doesn’t particularly apply to me in that way.

But if I swap out the word friendships for relationships? Totally.

Over the years I’ve had a number of friendships – high school friends, college, co-workers, friends of friends – and I cherish the time I’ve spent with all those people. Even if some of them did end abruptly or in heartache or in anger because they’ve all taught me that it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. Whether that company has made me feel like less of a person or caused issues in my marriage, it’s something to learn from. So as I’ve gotten older I’ve become more exclusive to who I let into my personal inner circle.

Some days Alfred and I will look around and think, we should be more open, and so we try. But we don’t want friends for the sake of having friends, we want people we can depend on, who we can trust, and who are kind. People’s actions really do speak louder than words. Alfred has always been a really good judge of character and can usually tell right away what type of person we are bringing into our life. Me, on the other hand, really truly wants to believe the best in people. I tend to give second chances (or third… or fourth) and it takes a lot for me to just pull away from a person.

I think it should also be said that it’s really hard to finding married couples where we like both spouses (and trust them). It’s not that we don’t enjoy the company of single friends, it’s just that priorities are a little different when you’re in a committed relationship. Sometimes that doesn’t always come across in those friendships or it gets thrown to the wayside causing friction in your relationship. Trusting your instinct and gut reaction to people has shown (to me anyway) to be a good indicator of how things will turn out. Fortunately for me, my gut reaction to one guy in particular proved a number of people wrong and we couldn’t be happier.

Have you ever suffered from a relationshit?
Are you picky when it comes to making friends?

 

Accept the Challenge

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 & 11.

Week 12!

Accept the Challenge:
Do you embrace the opportunities that come your way or are you more reserved?
Where does your comfort zone lie and have you ever left it in the dust?

I’d like to think I’m this spontaneous let’s go out in the world and conquer it person but I’m not really. I’m the type of person that looks at something and overanalyzes every angle and every outcome to the point that I procrastinate in making any type of decision and then I’m just shit out of luck.

I think part of it stems from growing up in a chaotic home – things were hardly organized and never planned. One day we were living in Arizona and two days later we moved to Kansas. There was only one week left of school, there was no real reason other than my mom’s boyfriend at the time thought it was a good idea (his family lived in Kansas) and to be honest, it still hurts my heart that my feelings weren’t taken into consideration with it. Or at the very least, that it felt like I had no say in it. As in, no “let me explain why this is necessary” moment.  So, I’m more reserved in my decisions because I don’t want them to negatively affect those around me – particularly my husband and my daughter.

Instead of reserved, I think I’d rather say responsible. Sure, dropping everything in a moment’s notice to fly off to Hawaii sounds good in theory but there’s bills to be paid & mouths to be fed. With that said, the husband and I did manage a one night getaway this past weekend on a whim since Lillie is spending the week with her grandparents and cousins. It wasn’t planned, we just wanted to head out to the coast (about a 4 hr drive) for the day but then ended up staying overnight. It was definitely a nice vacation from my normal responsible mom mode and a good reminder that not everything has to be perfectly planned to have a good time.

Currently Dreaming

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 & 10.

Week 11!

Dream It, Do It
What are your dreams in life?

This particular topic is proving to be difficult for me. It shouldn’t be though, right? I mean, everyone has dreams…or I guess, we’re taught that everyone should have dreams. I’m not really sure. I’m trying to find something that I’m reaching for in my life and I honestly have nothing.

Maybe it’s because when I think of dreams, I think of the unattainable. Like, climbing Mt. Everest on a whim even though I’ve never climbed a mountain before. Dreams are something nice to think about but not something on my radar.

For me, thinking in terms of goals is much more realistic. When you say goal, you’re working towards something, but with dreams it’s all kind of wishy-washy. I’m sure that’s not the way it is for everyone but for me personally, they mean different things.

So, I guess don’t have dreams. I have goals. One of the biggest was completing a marathon and while that didn’t exactly happen how I envisioned, the journey to that moment was one of my biggest life accomplishments. It was a goal I worked towards for months and that’s something to be proud of.

What about you? What dreams do you have?

Being Your Own Change

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9.

Week 10!

Being Your Own Change: Do you create your own happiness?

I don’t know if I create my own happiness (I certainly try) but I am really good at finding the silver lining in things.

Growing up we moved around a lot (nope, not military) in part due to my moms alcoholism and just sheer bad luck. I don’t know if you’ve ever been uprooted from your friends as an 8 year old but it is devastating. You know no one, kids are mean (I still remember the names of my bullies), and typically you can’t grasp why it was so important to move away anyway. It all feels like everyone is out to get you.

It sucked at the time (Texas, Utah, Arizona, Kansas and back to Texas in a span of 3ish years) but looking back it really did teach me that even in the most unknown circumstances, there is good. My mom had her vices but one of the things she taught me by example was kindness. And in that kindness, I was taught how to be happy. How to laugh when things seemed impossible because just around the corner there is always a light. Always.

It’s a choice every day despite whatever shitty hand you are dealt whether you are going to filled with sunshine or drown yourself in the dark – and so I choose sunshine. Because even in the darkest hours of the night when I’d be holding a rag to my mothers bloody nose and bruised eye, she’d still turn up to me and say, “You are beautiful.”

And so is life. Life is beautiful, you just have to look for it. You find happiness in the fact that every morning you are blessed to wake up, to breathe, to love, to be loved and it’s not something we should take for granted. Your life is your own and only you are the only one who can mold it into something to be proud of. 
I think a quote from the piece that inspired this link-up really explains it best:

”Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you will find that too.”

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Being Kind…to yourself

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I totally missed my own link-up last week. Yep, made it to Friday before I even realized. I’m a winner like that. But I’m doing it today, so that counts for something, right? Join me if you can! (Sorry for the confusion.)

If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 & 9.

Week 8! (One week late!)

I’ve noticed while working through these writing prompts for the past 9 weeks that a lot of it comes back to my daughter. I always thought it was pretty cliché to hear parents say, “Oh, things changed when I became parent!” because prior to motherhood that sounded pretty fucking ridiculous to me. A child is a person, you take care of them sure, but really how hard can that be – change some diapers, have food & shelter, enroll them in school, easy peasy chicken greasy, right?

Apparently there’s this thing though where they learn by example by the people they are around. And who is Lillie around 98% of the time? ME. I feel like there’s this focus when raising children to make them smarter than the rest when I really think as a society we should focus on making them kinder. Teach them empathy, sympathy, compassion – the rest will follow at its own pace.

(Totally want my kid to be smart, don’t get me wrong, but the focus on having the best kid EVER at any cost is really intimidating on both ends of the spectrum)

After my round of post-partum where I said the most vile things to myself every day for at least a year in my head, things started changing when I started exercising. Instead of focusing on all my flaws I started noticing all the great things about myself (I also had most of you cheering me on and having that support helped immensely!) I started liking myself again and the voice in my head did too – I became more positive in how I approached myself and the outside world. During this time, I also noticed how quickly Lillie was picking up on things.

She was starting to mimic me and that just continues to become more apparent the older she gets. I never want her to feel less of a person because of her physical attributes (which happens to be what I’m most unkind to myself about) and I want her to understand that just because your body isn’t what you want it to be, doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect the way that it is. A lot of that is going to come from me by the way I project myself at home.

Things I actively don’t do: (by active I mean, sometimes I have to stop myself because it almost feels natural to think that way, which is really sad and kind of indicative of the culture we live in)

• Say I’m fat (even if I’m feeling that way) out loud
  
• weigh myself and act disgusted about it
  
• cry out loud when clothes don’t fit the way I want them too (Lillie is usually right underneath me at all times, so she’s privy to me changing clothes on the daily)
  
• saying I can’t eat something

Overall, I would say I’m kind to myself because I am actively trying to be kind to myself. I work at it every day (I also have wonderful support from my husband whose loved me at 120 lbs and at 205 lbs) but it certainly has gotten easier the more I do it.

Satisfied

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I kind of suck sometimes at blogging. Like, for example, I totally missed my own link-up last week. Yep, totally made it to Friday before I realized. I’m a winner like that. I’ll stick with today’s topic and tomorrow (Thursday, May 28th) I’ll post the topic from last week I missed – join me if you can! Sorry for the confusion.

If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, & 7.

Week 9!

I feel like from a young age I was taught that I had to have a dream to pursue. Would I be a lawyer? How about a doctor? An opera singer? An actor? Once I found that dream, I should continue on that path until it was a reality. I had to make goals to get there and anything that got in the way – well, it should be thrown to side because it’s all about the end goal. Not about the ride to get there.

And really, it’s life – every day is the ride – and what’s wrong with stopping to enjoy the scenery once in a while? I think it’s easy to get caught up in the – well, let’s wait until we have more money, more stability, less debt, etc – mindset when you’re in a relationship with someone who wants the same goals out of life as you.

For both Alfred & I, we’ve always wanted to be financially stable enough to go on vacations without a worry, to own our own vehicles, home, etc without living paycheck to paycheck. When we decided to start a family we revisited this goals while adding new ones (what/how we want Lillie to grow up). We’ve succeeded in a lot of our personal & family goals but have also passed on a lot of great things because it didn’t coincide with the long term or it would set up back from the original plan. Having Lillie really opened up both of our eyes as to how quickly life passes you by – and how much of it you miss because you’re too busy in the future instead of the present.

I’ve slowed down to enjoy the moments now, and I feel mostly satisfied in where I’m at in my life. I say mostly because I’m currently on my own spiritual journey (getting closer to Christ) and I’m not satisfied with the knowledge I have now – I want more, so that I can share that with Lillie when she gets older and begins to question things. I don’t want to only lead by example, I want to lead by knowledge. I mean, after all, it is power, right? :)

Making Mistakes

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It’s Week 7!

As a quick run down, this link-up is based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. I’m a rebel in that way.

You can find the remaining topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF.
If you’re interested in how the previous weeks went down – Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, & http://lehmannlaughter.blogspot.com/2014/05/past-or-present-where-do-you-live.htmlWeek 6.

Simple answer (and it should be for anyone) is yes, I’ve made mistakes. Whether they’re in the friendships I’ve had, my marriage, my professional life, my parenting skills (or lack of) and just in life in general. I think one of the most important things I’ve been fortunate enough to learn in my life (and willing to learn) is to accept responsibility for those mistakes.

It really sucks to own up to the fact that I can be a total asshole, but in the long run it’s really helped me weed out the people in my life that are there to support as opposed to tearing me down. That basically means as I’ve grown into my 20s that my huge circle of friends has dwindled down significantly. Quality over quantity, right?

I think back to things I said when I was younger, specifically mean things (gossip and all) and while I feel like overall, I was a nice girl – I certainly could have bit my tongue more. Or stuck up for more people. Being talked about behind your back by your friend really sucks but being talked about behind your back by people who don’t know you while your friend stands idly by eating her boogers? Now that’s some pretty shitty shit. Knowing how much something like that hurts and holding on to that, can really help you make a conscious effort to be the better person.

And being better than I was yesterday because I own up to the mistakes I’ve made in my life? Sounds like an okay deal to me.

Past or Present: Where Do You Live?

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It’s Week 6!

As a quick run down, this link-up is based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. I’m a rebel in that way.

You can find the remaining topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF.
If you’re interested in how the previous weeks went down – Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4 & Week 5.

The present. That’s where I like to spend most of my time. I’ve held bitterness in my heart for things that have happened to me in my past or for things that I’ve done (to myself or others) and the only thing that seems to come from that is unhappiness.

And I don’t know about you but being unhappy is not something I strive for.

I’ve talked about my mother before but that was probably well before most of my readers came around. Short story is she made some bad decisions in her life that affected her children – with the root of that grounded in alcoholism. That resulted in a chain of events that eventually led her to prison and her three kids without a parent to raise them. We were very fortunate in the way it worked out (God was certainly looking over us) and have had some wonderful friends & family step in and take care of us over the years.

She was released 4 years later.

Things she missed: high school graduation, prom, first boyfriends, first kisses, softball games, being mascot, marching band, hugs, learning to cook, birthdays, Christmases, and so much more that I know I’m forgetting.

I was bitter for a long time about these things, but once my mom was released I made an honest effort to let it go. It took me a while but by the time I hit my mid-20s something clicked – she’s an adult, she made the decisions she had to make based on her life & her circumstances, it just sucks that they affected others like they did. I don’t have the power to change any of that.

But I do have the power to not let it hold me back.

And I have the power to not let the cycle continue (alcoholism runs in our family); so I focus on the present. I keep the past in my back pocket, where I can pull it out when I need to be reminded of how grateful I should be for the life I do lead but I don’t let it weigh me down. Not anymore.

Realizing that people make mistakes, that people can change, that I’m not limited to who I was but rather to who I want to be has been one of the most freeing and beneficial things that I could have ever done with my life.

Now, you tell me – where do you live?