I must be mad...

In less than a week, it will have been a year. Yes, a FULL YEAR, since my daughter decided to bust a move from my womb and make her way into this world.
Ridiculousness.
Who does she think she is anyways? Trying to turn into a toddler and all. Ugh.

And in a week, she'll be sitting in cake crumbles and ice cream celebrating this day with our family and friends.
Where will I be?
Probably in the fetal position praying to the sweet baby Jesus that it's finally over while drinking a nice, healthy glass of wine and swearing to myself over and over that never, ever, ever will I plan a birthday party.
{Okay, fine I admit that even while I say this, I know good and well, this time next year I'll be making last minute touches to yet another perfect party}

I just hate that I know I did this to myself. I've been planning this since she was roughly 6 months old. Or at least had the idea in my head at that point. And for the past couple weeks I've been trying to coerce these little thoughts, these plans from the recesses of my brain to come to fruition. Well, it's getting closer and I can feel the pressure.
I mean, Lillie in "One"-derland was/is a wonderful idea.
But it's actually really hard to find Wonderland items to purchase.
Everything is princess this, or princess that...
Which means, it's up to me to make this vision in my head come to life, but that's a lot of pressure and strain to put on one slightly-perfection ridden mom.
So, I've commissioned my best friend to help me make a lot of what I want
{Thanks Emilie for putting up with my crazy!}

and
Thank you Pinterest for helping me become a do-er!

Wonderland Props coming together...

Okay, I see you. You can stop with the eye rolling. I'm not an idiot, I know that Lillie will have no recollection whatsoever in regards to her 1st birthday. So, she technically won't care what I do. She's going to be happy to have cake and people holding her all day. 

But the thing is - this is for me as much as it is for her. This is my celebration to the world saying
"I effing made being a mom my bitch."
Because I did, despite all my worries, all the frustrations, all the tears and confusion I passed. It may be with a C-, but she still has 10 toes/10 fingers/ 2 eyes and a heartbeat.
And one helluva smile.

Adorable, right?

 And I can't wait to see that same smile when she's older, looking back through her baby book and saying to me
"Damn, mom - overcompensate much"
so that I can reply with
"Just you wait sweetheart, you'll do things you never thought you would."

We play the "Mom eat this" game entirely too much.