She's pooped on me, she's peed on me, she's spit up on me, she's always drooling on her hand and then conveniently placing it in or around my mouth, she - in short - uses me to get rid of bodily fluids because it makes her happy. (Or at least that's why I imagine she does it.)
But last night, oh last night, was a new one.
Okay, well that's not new. She's got the flatulence of a frat boy, but it's how I realized she farted that made this a newbie. I notice she's become extra bootylicious, which means it's diaper change time. So, here's what happens -
- I pick her up and lovingly place her on her changing table
- I coo at her, make her smile adoringly at me as I tell her how awesome she is
- Diaper is successfully off without her crying
- I boogity-boogity boo at her to distract her from the cold wipe on her bottom
- I reach for some Boudreaux's Butt Paste because I'm overly concerned that my daughter is going to develop a diaper rash since her last diaper change 30 minutes ago
I felt air. ON.MY.HAND.
Which froze while I looked at my smiling adorable baby and said,
"Uh, did that just happen?"
And with that question, she simply replied by doing it again.
The joys of motherhood.