Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Mommyhood : Uh, Did That Just Happen?

Over the past 4 1/2 months Lillie has done a number of things to me that a year ago, I likely would have thrown up at the mere thought of. And now, I'm happy as a lark when she poops because that means I don't have to deal with a ....suppository. Blech. Seriously,  I've never been more interested in bowel movements as I am when it comes to my kid.

She's pooped on me, she's peed on me, she's spit up on me, she's always drooling on her hand and then conveniently placing it in or around my mouth, she - in short - uses me to get rid of bodily fluids because it makes her happy. (Or at least that's why I imagine she does it.)

But last night, oh last night, was a new one.

She farted.

Okay, well that's not new. She's got the flatulence of a frat boy, but it's how I realized she farted that made this a newbie. I notice she's become extra bootylicious, which means it's diaper change time. So, here's what happens -

  • I pick her up and lovingly place her on her changing table
  • I coo at her, make her smile adoringly at me as I tell her how awesome she is
  • Diaper is successfully off without her crying
  • I boogity-boogity boo at her to distract her from the cold wipe on her bottom
  • I reach for some Boudreaux's Butt Paste because I'm overly concerned that my daughter is going to develop a diaper rash since her last diaper change 30 minutes ago 
and that's when it happened...

I felt air. ON.MY.HAND.
Which froze while I looked at my smiling adorable baby and said,

"Uh, did that just happen?"

And with that question, she simply replied by doing it again.

The joys of motherhood.

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