My Emilie : Chicken Nugget Stupor

I have an Emilie. She's my best friend and we rock at life.
Even when one of us makes an incredibly bad decision.
Which, surprise, I did.

The following text is our most recent email conversation, some wording has been changed to protect the innocent.

To: Emilie
From: Tamzilla

Subject: I need you to extract my stomach...

because I'm a fatty that ate 20 effing chicken nuggets for lunch! And they are sooooo not being my friend right now. At the time they were amazing and I was like what the hell ever but uh, now, I'm pretty sure I'm going to explode.
Also, I have no idea if I'll be able to eat whatever we cook tonight because like I said I ate 20 motherfucking chicken nuggets.

God help me.

From: Emilie

To: Tamzilla

Subject : RE: I need you to extract my stomach...

Justin wants to grill burgers which don't really sound appetizing at all to me but easy. And easy sounds better than appetizing at the moment. I literally feel like I could fall over and go to sleep. I have been on hold for oh....6 mins and counting...

From: Tamzilla

To: Emilie

Subject : RE: I need you to extract my stomach...

I give you permission to go to sleep. And if you do, and Larry, Curly or Moe call you out on it, just say Tamara said it was okay and if they're like WTF just be like "she's in a Mcnugget induced stupor and she threatened my life if I didn't and you don't fuck with a girl and her nuggets. FACT."

Also, I'm turning this into a blog right now.

 
I know, I know, 20 freaking nuggets. I don't know what I was thinking other than 'my gawd, these are amazinngg, I must have more.' It's like I was a zombie lusting for brains, a vampire yearning for blood, a sandwich begging for cheese.

But it can't just be me? I'm not the only one that has devoured ridiculous amounts of food only to later discover that your new best friend will be the toilet? Right? RIGHT?

Sweet baby Jesus help us all.