Monday, November 28, 2011

Ninja Friday {and Thursday!}

i am a ninja.
no, really, it's true.
okay, well, probably not to you.
but to me, oh, fo'sho' i am.
you see, i partake in this crazy little phenomenon called Black Friday.
you know, that day after Thanksgiving were people get pepper sprayed over a video game or stepped over and ignored while having a heart attack
it really is quite ridiculous, and even though i absolutely adore the adrenaline rush i receive from grabbing that last box on the shelf for a price i could probably get with a good coupon on any other day of the year, i, in no way condone that kind of behavior. 
some people just completely baffle me
maybe it's my southern roots that even in mid-run down home depot i still yell sorry with every person i may accidentally nudge as i weave and bob through the crowd
or maybe it's the fact that i know if i want something that bad, i'd more than likely pay full price for it anyways, so who cares?
but back to the ninja thing - 
this year {in case you hadn't heard} sales actually started on Thanksgiving DAY
in the past 8 years or so that I've participated it's all been {technically} on Friday with times like 3 a.m., 4 a.m, etc.
the crew this year  involved my two sister-in-laws, cousin-in-law and me
in a hotel
because yes, we are that badass
{huge shout-out to the husband's aunt who thought
of this ingenious idea and booked the room}
they 3 all arrived before i did
{i dropped of the kiddo with her godparents - who are effing amazing}
the evening started out around 6pm with my
SIL texting me the wrong room number on purpose
i actually had a feeling she might do that
finally after knocking on the wrong door
i found the right one
and hit the sales ads
i only had two items that were necessary's 
a christmas tree and a stove
everything else was just a sure, why not
{i'm not so much a real shopper on this day as an enjoyer of al's family, they are amazingly fun and we don't see each other enough}
so, around 8 we decided we'd go to walmart
their sales started at 10pm and 12am
we got there and already people were in lines with their hands on things
{all still on pallets in the center aisles with the packaging tape}
things were not allowed to be in the basket until the appropriate time
i only had 3 items
600 ct sheets for $20, 7 piece comforter set for $34 and Cooties game for $3
and because none of these were MUST HAVES
i was awesome and told the other crew members i'd head over to ToysRus to see how that madness would go. 
with their lists in my relatively warm little hands, i left with high hopes
you see, i knew ToysRus started at 9pm. and since it was about 9:15pm
i figured i'd get in the store fairly quickly
{although it'd be crazy crowded}
and with fingers crossed maybe, just maybe, i'd be free by midnight
{when Target opened their doors}
uh, yeah, like i said - high hopes
they changed their strategy this year 
instead of just opening the doors they only let 50 people in at a time
which was great when you got in because you could actually move around
but not so great as you were standing out in the cold for oh, about 2 hours listening to people complain about any and everything, watching small children run up and down the parking lot, and cheering every time the line moved (whether it was because more people were let in the store or people gave up and got out of line)
and i must say it did make it extra sad to watch all the people before me leave the store with basketful's of items,
i was almost certain there was no way i'd be able to get what was on my list
{lincoln logs for Lillie & humidifier for my niece, Ayana)
and especially not what my crew had given me as their lists
so, i was pleasantly surprised to have gotten the 2nd to last lincoln logs and the majority of everyone else's items
{i can't wait to play lincoln logs with the lillie-kins!}
they must have stocked more in anticipation of starting time at 9pm instead of 12am or 5am or whatever it has been in the past
the line was probably just about an hour wait
they were very organized and made it very clear where the line started and stopped
props to ToysRus management
i managed to get out of there right at midnight
because my crew was still battling the walmart crowds
{apparently there was practically a fight over the sheets - there was totally a line for them at 8pm}
and because one SIL wanted an electronic they had to wait until midnight for it
and apparently that was an ordeal
as they did not roll them out when they were supposed to
but she got what she wanted and it was her big ticket item
so i think she was happy
anyway, they were still in the throes of walmart madness
i punched it to target
they had just started to let people in
i had my list and the crew's list
i got in about 12:30am and had about as many hits as i had misses in my first run-through
all i wanted was some pyrex for $16 
{i gots it}
everything else was for my nieces/nephews per their parents
our target is fairly big
which meant the line was beyond ridiculous
and by beyond ridiculous i mean over 2 hours ridiculous
BUT, i did manage to score a few items in line that i didn't get on shelves because people had dropped them on the way to the front for check-out
the people in line behind me {hi ladies!} were amazing and offered their shopping basket to me
{i literally had things stuffed in my jacket to keep a hold on everything, with sweat dripping down my face, i was the epitome of a mad woman}
don't judge me
pyrex is heavy
and because i'd been in line for an hour, staring at the same butts, i was completely shocked at the balls the couple who tried to cut me had
if you know me then you know i am laid-back
i go with the flow
want my spot, whatever, not that important
but not on black friday, bitches
had i not been in line for an hour already with another hour looming in front of me, i probably would have not reacted the way i did
nor if i had just heard the couple speaking plain-as-day english before they cut me

Me: Are y'all just trying to shop or get in line, because the line starts back there.
{man looks at woman, woman looks at me, looks at man and turns around}
Man: uhh No sabe englis.
Me: Ohhhkay. I just heard you speaking english. the line does not start here, it's back there.
Woman: Que? Que?
Man: No comprehende.
Me: Seriously? Fine. Let's do this.

Which then resulted in me yelling out for a Target employee who speaks Spanish
which caused man and woman to both speak very rapidly in their non-english and look around nervously
a girl about 5 people behind me said her mom spoke spanish
she turned to get her
man and woman took off
about that time one of the ladies who had let me use their shopping cart had come back with an employee
he wasn't necessary but said that's why there were so many stationed near the line
anyway, i felt slightly bad about it
but at the same time
no.
not okay.
if you choose to be an idiot {admittedly like me} and go out at 12am for some deals, you have to suffer the consequences and one of those is waiting in ridiculously long lines
don't cheat the system, people
i survived the remaining hour with no more cutting and a text around 1:30 that the crew was meeting at the hotel, they were finally out of walmart
i was out about 3
stopped in at a sonic that was open grabbed some cheesesticks
and downed my mountain dew i had grabbed from Target
it was the kick i needed
tried to go to Old Navy
uh, negative, there was no room to even shop
people had no idea where the line even ended (i asked)
kohls was the same way
i went back to the hotel
checked over the ads 
and the crew was back again!
4am HEB happened
i saw one of my favoritest people ever from my retail days
{Hi Amber!}
got a $20 dutch oven
{hehe, dutch oven}
and 40 double A batteries for $10 bucks
from there we went to Home Depot
this was important
you see, they had a Christmas tree for $49 bucks
and i wanted it
bad
7.5 foot and pre-lit, full and beautiful
i had to have it
but there was a line already
the girl and her mom behind us were wanting it too
i started counting the people in front of us
the odds were not in my favor
i knew what this meant
ninja skills, ninja skills indeed
when i got inside those blessed doors
i ran like the wind
forrest gump, you don't have shit on me
i am never skinnier than on Black Friday, 
i weave, i bob, i jump, i scout out best possible routes
{thank the sweet baby jesus i am tall}
i placed my hand on the 2nd to last one, the girl in line behind me got the last one
SCORE
i was in adrenaline heaven, pumped and ready to go i couldn't wait for the next store
{thanks Chrisa for helping me carry it out!}
my other SIL also had a slight run-in with a mad woman who insisted she owned a full shelf of .99 cent pointsettas
next store was Michael's that didn't open until 6am
we had about 30 minutes to kill, so a bathroom break happened
and when people started getting in line
so did Chrisa and I
they had their cricut cartridges on sale
buy two get a jubilee free
but apparently they were open on Turkey day and ran out of free product
{of course}
we did get a free candy bar though
SCORE
 we decided to get some free breakfast at the hotel
it was amazingness
the girls wanted to go ahead and lay down
but i was determined to check out Cavendar's
{boots for me!}
they opted to ride with me and i was lucky enough to find exactly what i wanted in my size
{if you don't know me or my size 11 shoe, you're missing out on all my shoe shenanigans}
from there we tried to return few items from ToysRus
but nope, no returns, not until 1pm
*sigh*
we then tested out Old Navy again
which resulted in a pair of $15 jeans for me and two sets of adorable jammies for the kiddo
and Kohl's 
were my crewmates officially rocked my ninja status 
by hiding their finds from earlier in the morning behind some men's oxford shirts
they got all the stuff with none of the line
amazing crew
my alarm went off at 6:45 to call alfred and i thought something was wrong, because surely i wasn't this wide awake after 24 hours of no sleep
runner's high, pshhh
black friday high my friends
i found the stove we wanted at sears, called to see if they even had what i wanted (gas, not electric) and they were actually honoring all of their in store sales online, so we didn't even have to weather that situation
SCORE
we tried to hit the hotel again for some sleep, but yeah, after showers and everyone and their mom calling us, and a maid trying to get into our room
we got up a short two hours later and headed out for some lunch
love us some Chuy's
then to return things at ToysRus and Target
and finally home
we separated all the items at my house 
{since there were no prying kid eyes there}
and about 6:15pm i was finally able to sit down, text lillie's godparents about picking her up
and revel in my awesome shopping abilities
alfredo & the best friends {emilie & justin} & the bro-in-law arrived shortly after
i made my emilie proud by my target situation
and then i promptly zoned out
after showing off my kickass boots of course
it was exhausting
it was ridiculous
it was fantastic
and i absolutely cannot wait to do it again next year

did any of you join in on the craziness this year?


2 comments:

Sar said...

Bwaaaaaaaahahahah I LOVE YOUR GUTS SO MUCH. You are my hero.

In other news, "My other SIL also had a slight run-in with a mad woman who insisted she owned a full shelf of .99 cent pointsettas" is one of the best senteneces I've ever read.

I'm bowing down, and oddly craving some cheese sticks.

<3 <3

The Lehmann's said...

I wasn't able to go last year (it was about a week after I had Lillie and I was so not feeling it!) so, I think I made up for it this year! And am already pumped for the next one!