Friday, August 16, 2013

I can trust no more

Something has happened to me.

Something big.

Like, I-don’t-even-know-if-I-can-ever-trust-the-world-again big.


I have an office job in higher education. I’ve worked here for 8 years (3 in my current position, 5 in Financial Aid Office – yeah, I was that person you loved to hate as an Undergrad) and I love a lot of things about my job but one of the main things I’m grateful for - that the summer is so laid-back. Most of the students and faculty are gone, which means it’s a lot quieter, parking is easier and there’s not as many distractions when it comes to getting my work done. There are some days when no one even walks into my office.

Those are glorious, glorious days my friends.

One of the other great things about no students is I don’t have to time my bathroom breaks. I refuse to go at certain times when classes get out in the fall & spring because it’s a madhouse out there in the halls. Like a bunch of gazelles being chased by lions madhouse. Especially in the first few weeks of fall as the incoming freshman are figuring everything out. But the summer is bathroom freedom on my bladders will.

Again, glorious, glorious days my friends.

One of the things that I get pumped up about is when going to the bathroom I’ll luck out and see the toilet seat raised up. This is a wonderful indication that housekeeping has cleaned the bathroom and I am the first, the first, to sit on a newly cleaned toilet seat (it’s the small things in life).

I don’t know why I get so excited about this but it makes me feel better for not being one of those people that insist they hover over every public toilet and never sit on the seat.

If that’s you, you’re a dirty filthy liar. We all know you sit on the seat. WE ALL DO. 

Anyway, I walked into the restroom and as I turned to the right a small, dark-haired woman was coming out of the first bathroom stall. I glanced over (this is typically my stall because I had read once somewhere that the first bathroom stall is usually filled with less germs) and you know what I saw?

She put the toilet seat back up – like she never used it at all!! The toilet was still flushing and the door was open, and she was standing there with her back to me and, and, and…


My glorious, glorious summer days have forever been lost. I will never be able to trust a raised toilet lid again. That dark-haired woman took that from me.

Texas Women Bloggers


DumbFunnery said...

That's the definition of rude.

As a guy, I take it for granted that even a freshly cleaned stall in a men's bathroom is still dirty - so I can't have my trust betrayed like that.

Katie said...

LOL. It makes no sense why someone would do that, but it makes me laugh.

Also, I legit never sit on a public toilet seat because I am a GERMAPHOBE. With all the capitals.

Smart Ass Sara said...

Foul. That is foul. I have a preferred stall as well because it's the only one that ever has toilet paper in it. :/

meg m said...

holy shit you kill me!
I was not expecting this AT ALL.
you might just be my favourite person today.

Anonymous said...

Wow I feel like I have major trust issues now. WHO DOES THAT!? When it comes to public toilets, I usually carry hand sanitzier and use a few drops to wipe off the seat. Of course the person after me probably thinks I sweat all over it or something awful, but whatever my butt feels safer that way.

Breenah said...

Maybe she actually hovers? Or maybe she pees standing up?
IDK, I'm just trying to come up with a reason for you to feel better about up toilet seats.

Suze said...

what a sneak

Martha Woods said...

Haha, this made me laugh so hard! My life is a lie.

Sara said...

That sneaky bitch....

The Lady Okie said...

bahaha! This is amazing. Also, I hate to tell you this, but I really do hover over MOST public seats. Note I said most. Sometimes you just can't avoid it when you really need "pushing" leverage. Yes, I just said that. Also, WHY would she put the seat up? Weird. Also 2, I can't find your vlog. I want to see it. You should put a search bar on your blog for people like me.

Lin said...

That conniving little bitch. How dare she put the seat back up and make you believe it's still untouched? Ugh. Rude.

Haha, seriously though, it's pretty damn funny. She probably laughed every time she left the bathroom. Bitch.

Holly said...

LOL I love you.

But yes, that's ridiculous. She should be sued.

Christy K said...

I have to say I {LOVE} your blog! This last one really cracked me up! I tagged you in a "getting to know you" post for people with 200 or below followers :) If you have time and want to participate visit my blog :)


PS I'm keeping my eye out for a $20 lol