Wednesday, October 19, 2011

To My Sister

Hi Little Sister.
So, there's this thing. Well, it's no longer a thing, more of a human. Actually, it's a baby. A girl. Named Ayana Rose and she's yours. She's beautiful. And precious. And she's done something no one else has ever done for you..
She's made you a mom.
And it's wonderful. Except for when it's not. And when those times come along, and they surely will, it will be okay because I know you. And you are caring, and kind, and so considerate of other people that it's within reasoning to often tell you to worry about yourself some because you simply.don't. And that's one of the reasons Ayana is so very blessed to have you as a mother.
You will make her laugh. It will make you cry from joy the first time it happens.And the second time, and the third time, and the...
You will make her cry. And you'll turn your head away with a smile on your face because you know she's being ridiculous that she doesn't want to eat this green bean.
You will make her happy. And you'll see it in her eyes when she realizes that if she puts both her hands together at the right time, it makes a noise and oh my gawd look mom and dad can do it too!
You will clap for hours because of this and won't even realize it.
You will literally feel as if your heart is tearing in half when she gets hurt, and it will happen more and more the older she gets. But so will the laughs. And the smiles.
And it will all balance out at the end of the day because you made her with your love, with your hopes, with your dreams.
You made a baby, sister.
And she is miraculous.
Try to remember that in the middle of the night when she's screaming for no apparent reason and you've tried everything to no avail.
There will be moments when you miss who you were before, but when that happens - stop. breathe. and dream of your future. The hugs, the kisses, the first days of schools, the scraped knees, the first bike ride, swings, ice cream, crushes, hair disasters, biggie mics, dancing...Those things are what you're growing into and it's something you can be so proud of. You don't have to forget who you were before, because it's that person who said Yes. Who said Yes to being a mom before she even knew what that truly meant and now you're there.
You've made a little person who will look for your eyes when she's trying to something new. Who will reach for you when she's upset. Who will know she is loved simply by your presence.
It's awe-inspiring. It truly is.
So, little sister, don't forget to carry your camera everywhere you go. Don't forget to ask people for help when you need it, there's no shame in that.
But most importantly, don't forget to send me all the damn pictures you can manage.
Big Sister

1 comment:

Tina Steed said...


This was beautiful I love your musings! You girls have turned into beautiful young mama's with even more spectacular young ladies of your own. I still did not know Ayana's middle name. Krysten had said it would be cool for all of you (cousins) to have babies with "flower" names. Now she will have to do that. Lillie Mae and Ayana Rose. Lovely names for lovely babies! Love y'all!