Monday, October 18, 2010

37 Weeks and Counting

Officially 37 weeks today.
Officially over being pregnant.
Officially scared to death of being a mom. 

Last night as I was trying to roll/scoot out of the recliner Alfred looked over at me and said:
Al: Are you ready to have her?
Me: Yes. <pause> Well, I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. To actually have her, I just don't know. 
Al: Yeah, me too.

I don't think it's so much the fact that we're about to become parents, because it's something we both wanted and waited for and have alluded to in talks for years,  but it's more about the change. The change in dynamic we share as a couple is about to be uprooted with a whole other person and it's the unknown that has us questioning ourselves.

One of the most amazing things I've found throughout this pregnancy is that although we question ourselves, we have seem to have unwavering faith in the other as a parent. It really does make the unknown a little more bearable when you have someone you trust completely standing beside you bring you up.

So, here's to 3 more weeks of small panic attacks, struggling to find shirts that don't stop at my belly button, and moments of solitude. I keep hearing those may be a little more difficult to find once Lillie gets here.

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