Friday, March 2, 2012

The Things Kids Say

it's too soon.
this shouldn't be happening yet.
she's still a baby.
i know, i'm lucky, nobody was around
to hear her, much less hear me...
fine. i'll just come out and say it
i fart.
i am a girl. 
and i fart. 
uh yeah, saying that aloud - still not helping.
i guess i should start from the beginning.
not that it's a long story,
but that's where stories start at..
the beginning.
so, lillie-kins has been talking more
she's got a good supply of words
{pup-peeee, coo-keyy, tank yew, bayyy bee are a few}
and learns things so fast i'm often left with a
confused look on my face stuttering,
did..did..did you just say shit..oh, no, that was tick
sweet baby Jesus thank you!
{again, i should probably clean up my language...}
and as any new mom is, i'm optimistic about...
my plan so far has been to help her realize
when she's gone poo-poo or pee-pee in her diaper
{another word she's picked up!}
by asking her if she's gone poo-poo or pee-pee
and lately she'll point to her diaper and say poo-poo
{even if there's none}
i also explain what i'm doing
when she sees me on the toilet
{yes, she's already gotten to that stage
where she opens the door and sits in front of me
while i'm trying to do what needs to be done.}
so far, so good, right?
well, if she happens to fart, or toot
i also ask her then if she's gone poo-poo
i'm sure you can see where this is going.
a few days ago, as i'm getting things together for work
she's sitting in her high-chair
eating her curds and whey
{fine, it was a graham cracker and some goldfish - 
i was running late, don't judge me}
i did it.
i farted.
and we had our first 
the things kids say
she pointed her little finger at my butt and said
exactly what i've been teaching her
 you would have thought she'd discovered electricity
with the smile she gave me
and what do you do in that moment?
i mean, what can you do?
you smile and say,
yes, honey, mama went poo-poo.

the embarrassment of what kids say,
it's started.
and we can never go back.
God help us all.  

1 comment:

Sar said...

Best story ever. Hands down. You poo-pooer, you.