Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Turd Day

We don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. We never really have. I mean, we have probably used it as an excuse to go out and get drunk Pre-Lillie days, because it makes it less alcoholic-y if you have a legit reason.

Happy Valentine’s Day, babe – grab me another shot while you’re at the bar please?
Oh, heck, it’s a holiday, make it TWO shots!

I think maybe once Alfred bought me flowers? Or maybe that was for my birthday? Or anniversary? Oh, I don’t know, I got flowers, he got laid, who cares.

So, this day was destined to start out like any other day. In fact, I didn’t even expect him to realize what day it was. We don’t typically celebrate holidays and it’s nice that we’re both okay with that. If, for some reason, I do expect something I always make sure and let him know weeks in advance. I’m a considerate wife in that way.

But this morning I was surprised when he wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day without any prompting. [I’m about 98% positive he only knew what day it was because we had the news on this morning and it was mentioned. But I’m not picky]

Every morning when Lillie wakes up we head to the bathroom, and there she sits on her throne doing her thang while I finish getting ready. Usually Alfred is already gone, but I had woken Lillie up earlier today. Alfred walks into the bathroom as Lillie is pull-ups down on the pot.

Alfred: Happy Valentine’s Day.
[hugs & forehead kiss]
Tam: Thanks, babe. Happy Valentine’s to you too.
Alfred: So, what are you getting me for Valentine’s?
[eyebrow raise and ogling my girls ensue]
Tam: Uh, this.
[points to Lillie]
Alfred: A turd, you got me a kid turd?
Lillie: I go poo-poo on da pot-tee!!

Parenthood = 225482
Sexy time = 0

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends!

6 comments:

Jodi said...

Just keeping it real! Ha!

Smart Ass Sara said...

I got frozen, already starting to die flowers. Still calling it a win.

Breenah said...

That's awesome. Jarrod and I use it as an excuse to go out because we always go out once when we get our tax return and it always falls about the same time.

meg m said...

this is amazing. your relationship rocks!

Sara said...

Awesome! Seriously...who wouldn't want that as a gift?! Toddler crape in the pot=parenting win!

Amanda said...

I love everything about that story. that's hilarious.