15 Day Challenge, Day 6

Day 6: If you could have any job in the world, what would it be and why?

This is tough.
Because what I had wanted as my job for nearly my entire life, well, it's not what I really want anymore out of life and it's weird to know that. But because of that, I'm actually living in the job I want.

To Be An Actor.
{It's okay, you can say it pretentiously, I know I just did}

Since, my 1st grade Christmas production where I snatched the lead of Mrs Claus by making my voice "old" and beating out the other 4 girls who auditioned. I recall sitting in class and having my friends say "Oh, you're going to get it. You have too!" It was such a wonderful feeling to have people believe in me.
I did a few plays during middle school with some of the greatest friends who helped foster my desire to be something special. They understood because they wanted it too. I'm grateful for those friendships to this day.
I moved back to Texas my freshman year of high school. I cried when the school told me they didn't have a drama program. My whole life had been uprooted and I couldn't even have something to help me feel like I belonged.
I don't know if you have ever moved to another school before, but if you have you know exactly what I mean. If you haven't, I promise you moving away from everything you know as a child, it's the scariest thing that can happen to you.And the most unfair.
I found our community theatre program and could not get enough. Every production I was in. I loved that people knew me. We did dinner theatre's and children's programs, it was almost always the same bunch of us and just fun. I enjoyed being someone else, stepping outside of my life into shoes I would have never known otherwise.
I can't help but hope Lillie loves it as much as I did. As I do.
 I had huge plans to do theatre as my major in college and then as soon as possible move to Hollywood to pursue my career. I knew it wouldn't be easy, and that the chances that I would actually become a famous actor were slim to none, but I didn't care.
It was my dream.
And then I met my future husband.

I'm sure there are critics out there that say I gave up my dreams for a boy. But they don't know me, they don't know how I felt, how I still do and when the simple truth is that my dreams changed as I grew older.

And thinking about that, yes, it makes me a little sad.
But does it change how I feel?
Absolutely not.
I plan on telling my daughter to live. To live your dreams
Live them in the way you want too. Not how others believe you should. There's no telling whether that dream will pan out or pull you into another one. Just be grateful for what you have on that day.
Because if I wouldn't have, I wouldn't be in this life I have and I would never have been able to find out that the one real job I wanted but never knew was...

Being a mom.

Is it cliche?
Absolutely.
Does it make my own eyes roll into the back of my head?
Of freaking course.

But, does it make it any less truthful?
Not a damn bit.

15 Day Challenge, Day 5

Day 5 : Do you have any favorite websites? What are they?

 Yes. Yes, I do. 

I think this one should go without saying, but I'll do it anyway..
[1]facebook
I have a love/hate relationship with this website.
I love that I have found some of my dearest friends and family, that I probably never would have without it. Being able to keep up with them and their life, it's truly awesome.
But with great awesomeness, comes great responsibility and  I hate that it can seem to rule a person's life.
Hi everyone. Welcome to my wedding, oh wait, you're not looking at me. You're looking at your phone. Yeah, no, the party is UP HERE. Uh, hello? Can you hear me?
*Ping*
Oh wait, I see that you just updated your facebook to say you're having a great time.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE YOU HAVE NOT LOOKED AT ME ONCE!
Sometimes being into social media pulls you out of the present.
It can be very frustrating.
I'm guilty of this, although I really try not to be.
But the good outweighs the bad for me. for now.
Also, I have nothing interesting in my life so I have to admit, I watch for drama to play out.
It's like for 30 seconds I read someone's update I'm back in high school at my locker with my best friend saying, "NU UH! She did NOT just say that!"
Don't pretend that you don't feel that way either.
It makes me feel young.
My gawd, I'm pathetic.

[2] http://icanhascheezburger.com
Okay, I can explain.
You see, I like cats. My husband does not.
After a particularly rough week at work, the husband came home with something in his pocket.
No, not that pocket you pervert. His shirt pocket.
It was a precious kitten.
We couldn't figure out a name, until one evening when the husband tried to call her here kitty, kitty kitty and instead said here chicken. We laughed. I told me friend Brandi and she said, What about Chitten.
Brilliant.
So, I had a kitten named Chitten and she was beautiful.

Fast forward a couple months. I was pregnant and unable to change the litter box.
The husband, despite his intense dislike of cats, routinely did this for me - but between everything else going on and us planning on our precious Lillie Mae, we decided we just couldn't keep her any longer. I fretted over how to find someone that would take care of her the way I hoped she would be taken care of.
Cue Brandi.(Yes, the same Brandi who named her!)
She offered to take her and love her and be awesome with her. She has two little boys (and since last week a little girl! Hi Bree!!) and other animals to play with. I know she's much happier and is getting the love and attention she deserves. Not to mention I get updates regularly on how she's doing.
And since I no longer have a real kitten, I get my cravings through this website. It makes me happy.
Also, I do things like this -

Lord help us all. Especially my daughter.

Day 6

15 Day Challenge, Day 4

Day 4: Put your iTunes on shuffle and list 10 songs that pop up. How do they describe you?

[1] Damn It, Janet - Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack
I love theatre. I love music. Combining those two into a magical deliciousness of awesomeness (whether on stage or in a movie) is something I've loved since well, forever it seems.  I often hope that I'll somehow find myself in a flash mob of epic proportions. (I choreograph songs in my head, usually with Lillie as my muse.)
Also, rhyming pretty much kicks ass, uhh..suger bass?

[2] (You Drive Me) Crazy - Britney Spears
 I love me some Britney. Whether she's the reigning pop princess or crazily shaving her head under millions of scrutinizing eyes. In my head, we're best friends. And we.always.will.be.
For the song itself though - it definitely sums up my feelings especially in the beginnings of mine and Alfred's relationship. I was sprung so hard you'd think I was popping up out of a mattress.(I am still, but more of an actual love sense instead of a lust sense.)

[3] Circle of Life - The Lion King Soundtrack
 Disney movies rock my socks off. I'm currently working on a collection to share with Lillie as she grows older. The thought of watching movies with my baby girl that I watched at her age, honey, now that's the circle of life and I couldn't be more grateful for it.

[4] We Both Reached for the Gun - Chicago (movie) Soundtrack
Again, another soundtrack. This song reminds me of my mother who has only told me pieces of what really happened that night she was sent to prison on charges of manslaughter for finally fighting back.
On a happier note though, Chicago is probably the only musical Alfred will watch with me willingly. I think it has to do with this number which just happens to be our favorite (his because of the outfits, I'm almost positive) -

[5]Neon Moon - Brooks & Dunn
This song is absolutely on my top ten list of awesomeness. In my head, it's the ideal bar dancing song. Just grab the one you love and two-step it through the night. I love pop-country music of the day but to me this song is how country music should sound. It reminds me of my mom as well and some of the heartbreak she's had in life because of that neon moon.

[6] Poker Face - Lady GaGa
I'm slightly obsessed with Lady GaGa. In fact, I'm hoping to have a Halloween party this year themed from her Monster Tour. We'll see though. As far as describing me, it doesn't. I have a horrible poker face. I smile entirely too much.

[7] Bust a Move - Glee Cast Version
I love to dance but alas, I am horrible at it. It doesn't stop me though. I ain't got no shame in my Bust a Move.
I have also choreographed dances to this song in my head and wish I would have sung it/danced it at my best friend Emilie's wedding.
Don't judge me.

[8] Don't Rain On My Parade - Glee Cast Version
I used to judge myself based on how other people perceived me. I'd let those thoughts, those projections, ruin things for me. But now that I'm older and have a better sense of who I am, I just let me be me. And I have to say not worrying if someone is staring at my stretch marks, or laughing at my dance moves (i.e. running man, cabbage patch, macarena etc.) is so freeing.
"Nobody, no, nobody is gonna rain on my parade!"
(Just as a side note - I sing the hell out of this song in my truck)
[9] Beer, Bait & Ammo - Kevin Fowler
I'm only 26 but in my time on earth I've learned that not everything needs to be fast-paced (or facebooked!) to be living life. Sometimes, sitting on the edge of a tank with a Budlight in one hand, a fishing pole in the other and good friends to call your own - it's taking that moment to breathe it all in that you can really feel grateful for everything the Lord has blessed you with.

[10] I Touch Myself - The Divinyls
Uhh...pass.

Day 5 

15 Day Challenge, Day 3

Day 3: Discuss how you hope your future will be like

Well, in the simplest sense I hope that in whatever way I affect a person's life that it's positive.
That I can continue to do things I can be proud of.
That I read a lot more books and I'm able to share that love with my kid[s].

Speaking of kid[s] - having another one...or two. don't tell the Alfred :)

Growing old with my Alfred, but not growing old in my heart.

Writing more.

High-fives. There needs to be a lot more high-fives in this world. and in my life.

Living life. Not letting it pass me by. 

Building our own home. {My gawd, it'd be amazing to have taller cabinets!}

Finding the secret to eating as much as you want and not gaining a damn thing.

Traveling more.

Meeting more people. It's so hard to do this the older you get and the more caught up in your life you get.

I just hope it's happy. With minimal damage to those that I love and care about. 

Oh, and more cheese. You can never have enough cheese.

Day 4

15 Day Challenge, Day 2

Day 2: Share 30 Interesting Facts about Yourself

You would think as someone who owns I blog I could easily come up with 30 facts about myself, but it's much harder than it looks. Seriously, even if you don't post it for anyone to see - whether on a blog, facebook, myspace (is that still in existence?) or just a notepad - try it, you may surprise yourself with the things you come up with.

[1] i can pinpoint the exact moment in my life when i started biting my nails. and the exact moment when i stopped.

[2] i once convinced a friend to eat a dog snack because it tasted good. (she actually saw me chewing on a runt, i'm not really sure why she thought i had put a dog treat in my mouth).

[3] i believe that what you put out in the universe comes back to you. if you do good things, good things happen to you. if not, watch out.
with that said, my husband once convinced me that a dog treat was actually beef jerky. It was beyond horrible. And that my friends was karma's revenge for [2].

[4] i was never a cheerleader. But i was the mascot. and it was marvelous.

[5] i moved a lot from 4th grade to 9th grade. i hated being the new kid, but i think it made me  a nicer person because of it. feeling left out, not bueno. not bueno at all.

[6] i do community theatre.

[7] dove season rocks my socks off.

[8] i spend entirely too much money at craft stores.

[9] if i'm about to say something that could be interpreted badly by the party listening to me i always preface it with "I'm about to be a horrible person..." for some reason i feel this protects me, even though i know it doesn't.

[10] i love country music, but when i was in 4th grade (and not living in texas), on the school bus home a girl asked me what my favorite song was and i was ashamed to say "fancy" by reba mcentire, so instead i said "waterfalls" by TLC because it was the only non-country song i knew.
i still feel guilty about this.

[11] i hate putting up laundry

[12] i have slight addiction to music

[13] my middle name is nicole

[14] i always said i never wanted kids and now that i have lillie, i can't imagine ever not wanting her beautiful face

[15] i made my own business cards. i like to pass them out to random people.

 [16] i have two tattoos. i'd have more if i didn't think my husband would flip.

[17] halloween is my favorite holiday. i desperately wanted my daughter to be born on october 31st. she was 16 days late. *sigh*

[18] string cheese is always in my fridge. 

[19] i love my back porch, it's where i've had some of the most wonderful conversations with friends and family

[20] i want to be a published author; it's one of my dreams

[21] speaking of dreams, my husband won't let me tell him what i dream anymore because he says they are too weird. and you know what? he's so right.

[22] i have about a 30 minute drive to and from work,and chances are that if you see me, i am jamming out wayyy to hard. and it is spectacular.

[23] when i was a theatre major it was required for freshman to audition for the3 big shows throughout the year if we wanted to audition for anything else. it involved 3 sections. acting, dancing and singing. I sang "part of your world" from little mermaid.
i did not get a call-back.

[24] i hate asking for help. which is why i was still carrying out my own groceries at 10 months pregnant. (yes, you are actually pregnant 10 months)

[25] i love renaissance festivals

[26] one of my biggest fears is that i'll lose lillie well before her time

[27]i cry way more than i should when i see something that involves babies/kids

[28] i always give the better towel to my husband after a shower

[29] i dye my own hair.

[30] i have good, hard laughs at least 3 times a day. usually more. it lightens my heart. i highly recommend this.

15 Day Challenge Link up

Day 3 

15 Day Challenge, Day 1

Day 1 - Discuss your current relationship.

10 years.

10 amazing years I've been with the same man.
We've been married for 6 of those and for the past 10 months we've added a third party.
No, we're not polygamists. We're parents. 
 It's okay, I see the look of fear (if you don't have kids)/look of 'it's about damn time' (we have been together for a freaking decade) and/or look of understanding (hi to you other parents!). 

We started dating our senior year of high school. He was the resident funny man. I'm not sure how I fit into high school exactly. I didn't feel popular, but I didn't feel unpopular. I loved theatre and was the school mascot. (Go Dawgs!) We seemed to mesh well, and despite me leaving for school we stuck it out through the rough patches.

I knew I was lucky but after seeing how Alfred is with our daughter, Lillie,  I'm so grateful we did.

He can in an instant make my day go from bad to great. And vice-versa. There are times when I want to punch him in face and there are times when all I want to do is lay my head on his shoulder and look out into the sunset dreaming of what our future will bring. 

Courtesy of WindWhistle Photograph

He can make me laugh like no one else.I mean, full on snorting and tears from the eyes. Even when I'm beyond mad at something. It's so frustrating to have someone know you so well they can do that. But it's so comforting to just know he's there.

If I ask him if an outfit is not doing me justice, he tells me the truth. Sometimes, it's not what I want to hear but we decided a long time ago that without honesty this will never work. Even on silly things.

He's the hardest working person I know. A full-time job, helping out friends in the evening and farming with his dad. Not to mention putting up with my incessantly bad singing, horrible affliction to all things laundry and helping me not lose my sanity when Lillie wakes up in the middle of the night coughing so hard that we're sure she's somehow managed to spit up her lung. 

We work well together because we want it to work well together. 

 With all the bad, and all the good, and all the messy, and all the clean -  he's shown me that true, unadulterated love - well, it really can exist.

He's not only my husband, he's my best friend.

 

And if anyone asks me - that's  how you make a marriage work.  

15 Day Challenge Link up

Day 2 

15 Day Challenge

I have a blogcrush. It's true. She's funny, well-spoken/written, a wonderful photographer and posts often. What's not to love about that?
I know Sarah in real-life, but not well, so when I see her I feel like I know entirely too much without the proper effort being put forth. (The same thing happens with me and the few people I tend to facebook stalk. Don't judge, you know you do it too.)
Because of this when Sarah offered a 15 Day Challenge link up, I thought "Hey, I could do that! It's not a ridiculously long amount of time and I've never participated in anything like this before. Why the heck not?"
I have been blogging for a while, but never took it to that next step of consistent posting, just really whenever the mood strikes and I have a free moment - those two don't always happen at the same time.
Below you'll find the different subjects for each of the days involved. I'll be posting directly after this with my Day 1 challenge. If any of you would like to join in, jump on this fancy little bandwagon we'd love to have you! Just click here to sign up.