Tuesday, September 20, 2011

15 Day Challenge, Day 6

This is tough.
Because what I had wanted as my job for nearly my entire life, well, it's not what I really want anymore out of life and it's weird to know that. But because of that, I'm actually living in the job I want.

To Be An Actor.
{It's okay, you can say it pretentiously, I know I just did}
Since, my 1st grade Christmas production where I snatched the lead of Mrs Claus by making my voice "old" and beating out the other 4 girls who auditioned. I recall sitting in class and having my friends say "Oh, you're going to get it. You have too!" It was such a wonderful feeling to have people believe in me.
I did a few plays during middle school with some of the greatest friends who helped foster my desire to be something special. They understood because they wanted it too. I'm grateful for those friendships to this day.
I moved back to Texas my freshman year of high school. I cried when the school told me they didn't have a drama program. My whole life had been uprooted and I couldn't even have something to help me feel like I belonged.
I don't know if you have ever moved to another school before, but if you have you know exactly what I mean. If you haven't, I promise you moving away from everything you know as a child, it's the scariest thing that can happen to you.And the most unfair.
I found our community theatre program and could not get enough. Every production I was in. I loved that people knew me. We did dinner theatre's and children's programs, it was almost always the same bunch of us and just fun. I enjoyed being someone else, stepping outside of my life into shoes I would have never known otherwise.
I can't help but hope Lillie loves it as much as I did. As I do.
 I had huge plans to do theatre as my major in college and then as soon as possible move to Hollywood to pursue my career. I knew it wouldn't be easy, and that the chances that I would actually become a famous actor were slim to none, but I didn't care.
It was my dream.
And then I met my future husband.
I'm sure there are critics out there that say I gave up my dreams for a boy. But they don't know me, they don't know how I felt, how I still do and when the simple truth is that my dreams changed as I grew older.
And thinking about that, yes, it makes me a little sad.
But does it change how I feel?
Absolutely not.
I plan on telling my daughter to live. To live your dreams
Live them in the way you want too. Not how others believe you should. There's no telling whether that dream will pan out or pull you into another one. Just be grateful for what you have on that day.
Because if I wouldn't have, I wouldn't be in this life I have and I would never have been able to find out that the one real job I wanted but never knew was...
Being a mom.
Is it cliche?
Does it make my own eyes roll into the back of my head?
Of freaking course.
But, does it make it any less truthful?
Not a damn bit.


Heather said...

I love this post of yours! I wish i was people person enough to be an actress! It does seem like a really fun job!
Being a mom has so much more on our dream jobs. All we can say to our children is live your dreams and live the way you want and do not let anyone else tell you otherwise and hope that they listen to us and make the most out of what they want to do in the future! Its their life! Our lives wouldn't be what they are today without our babies the little loves we brought into this world to make our world such a joy!

Colette (Little Lion) said...

As a former drama kid myself, I can very much relate to your post. And while I might, on occasion, be practicing my interview for *Late Night* on the off chance that some director sweeps through town and throws me into his movie, catapulting me to stardom...yeah. Dreams change. However, I will suggest auditioning at a local community theatre if/when you feel the urge bite at your heels again. It can be fully satisfying. :)

The Lehmann's said...

Heather: You said it girl! I think having kids helps lessen the burn of not fulfilling a dream, because you have so many more dreams and hopes for them! Even through all the complaints (long nights, sicknesses, etc)being Mom is definitely at the top of the list. Nothing compares to seeing my figure out that she can clap her hands, or find her ear!
Colette(Little Lion): I practice my interviews too. :) I still do community theatre actually. When I can't be in a play, I usually help with the sets or serving food (we do a lot of dinner theatres in my town). As long as I have a little bit of it in my life, I can't complain.
Also, I am loving the name Colette. I think I may have to put that down into my potential names for the next kiddo!