Are You Yourself?

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It’s Week 5! [I’m seriously amazed I’m keeping up with this as well as I am!]

As a quick run down, this link-up is based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. I’m a rebel in that way.

You can find the remaining topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF.
If you’re interested in how the previous weeks went down – Week 1, Week 2, Week 3 & Week 4.

I try to embrace me for me. Sometimes though, it’s a real struggle. Especially when I get a case of the Facebook Envy. You know, when someone posts something that’s simply amazing and in no way could ever be something you post. Like a trip to Europe. Or losing 30 lbs in two weeks.

Social media is wonderful in that it can connect you to people in your life you wouldn’t typically get to see. (Shout out to all my East Middle School alums!) But it’s also a crap-chute for the same reason. Sometimes I don’t need to know that Johnny is now a multi-billionaire because he won the lottery from he ticket he picked up off the ground in a neighborhood he never frequents and then subsequently lost 30 lbs by quitting soda.

It can make me feel like I’m not enough. And that feeling is total shit.

As I’ve gotten older and honestly, since becoming a parent, I find it easier to just stay true to who I am. I am flawed, I make mistakes but I accept responsibility for them, and I don’t seek out the approval of others as I did when I was a 16 year old naive girl who couldn’t understand how anyone couldn’t like me.

My motivation to be the best version of me, on my own terms, really did come from having my daughter. That may not be the case for everyone and I would never suggest having a child to fulfill your own selfish desires – but it was certainly a byproduct of having her (for me anyway). I wanted to be a better person – someone who didn’t shy away when they witness something crappy happening, someone who focused on being healthy instead of skinny, someone who brought happiness into the world and not deceit. And so I actively work on those things – internally and externally.

Internally by the way I speak to myself. I, like most people, have talked shit to myself in a way I would never dream of talking to anyone else.

You can’t wear that, your fat is trying to escape from the top & the bottom of those shorts.
That joke wasn’t even funny. You are so fucking stupid.
You can’t be serious, no one would ever want to hang out with you.

That is probably the hardest thing to work on – not doubting myself to myself.

Externally, I focus on the good because I want to be a great walking, talking example for my daughter. She’s at the age (3!) where she learns by doing & watching (but really, aren’t we always at that age?) and I want to minimize the self-hate talks as much as possible. It’s one of the things I’m most passionate about in regards to my daughter. And it’s one of the things I struggle with constantly.

I try to embrace my flaws in a way that acknowledges them but doesn’t accentuate them.

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Liebster Award

Holly from Faith, Hope, & Baseball nominated me for a blogger award! Thanks Holly, you’re amazeballs. (But seriously people she is – go check her out.)

I’ve been awarded something similar before – so I’m going to be a horrible person and not follow the rules exactly how I should.

Rules

1. Link back to the person who nominated you.
2. Answer the 10 questions given to you.
3. Pick 10 bloggers to be nominated. 
4. Create 10 questions for the nominees
5. Notify the nominees

Questions from Holly:

1. Where are you from? Have you always lived there?
   I’m a Texan through and through. However, I also have soft spots for Utahans, Arizonians, and Kansans as I’ve lived in all three of those places as well.
2. What is the meaning behind your blog name?
   My last name is Lehmann and we laugh a lot. Also, alliteration for the win! What what!
3. What kind of job do you have, and do you enjoy it?
   I work in Higher Education with undergraduate & graduate students in the Biology program. Our Chair (who always forgets my exact title) likes to tell people my desk is “Where problems come to die”. I’m kind of a big deal. And yes, I enjoy it very much.
4. If you go to a coffee shop, what do you order?
   Uh, do they have sweet tea? (Told y’all I was a Texan through & through!)
5. Dark, milk, or white chocolate?
   I do not discriminate when it comes to chocolate. I want them all. And I want them now.
6. Ice cream or cake?
   Why not both? Have you heard of Dairy Queen (if not, quit what you’re doing and road trip to one, or just road trip to me there’s like 2 in a 10 mile radius from where I’m at right now)? They have these things called, get this, ICE CREAM CAKES. And they are the bomb-diggity.

   

7. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
   There’s this episode of Rocko’s Modern Life where an octopus comes up from the ocean looking for cheese. My brother, sister and I laughed so hard for no reason at it (I was in middle school at the time) and even to this day, you’ll still hear us ask each other, “You got any cheeeeeseee?”
   
8. What’s your favorite summer activity?
   Day-drinking. Specifically by a body of water. That counts as an activity, right? We like to make it a family affair.
9. What’s your preferred form of social media (blogging, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)?
   Instagram or Twitter. They’re kind of straight & right to the point. Got a picture? Instagram it & done. Speaks for itself. Got something to say? Say in 140 characters or less or I’m out.
10. Have you ever met another blogger in person? If so, how and where?
    Yes! Sar from Life of Love! 

We even did a mud run together last year! She’s on the left, me in the center and my friend Christine on the right. Recently, she surprised me with a sweet, handwritten note for her birthday just a few weeks ago. (Yes, I said for her birthday.) She’s just as kind-hearted, genuine and funny in person as she comes across in her blog. Everyone should meet a Sar in their lifetime, it’ll make you a better person. I promise.



We actually met when we went to the same Glee-themed aerobics dance class. Yeah, you read that right. It was Glee-themed and it was glorious. We ended up hitting it off & became facebook friends (which means we’re legit) where I found out she blogged (and I did too, say whaaa?!) and the rest is history!

Like I said, I’m not following the rules (mostly because all the bloggers I would nominate are already nominated or have already done it) but I’ll tag anyone who wants to join along! If you’re interested, below you’ll find my 10 questions for you! If you don’t want to do a post but comment with your answers instead, totally legit.

Your Questions

1. Invisibility or ability to fly?
2. Favorite motivational quote or mantra?
3. If you were stranded in a sea of hipsters, how would you make it out alive?
4. Tell me about your favorite shoes.
5. Worst vacation memory?
6. What is the one song that will always make you bust a move no matter what?
7. When you were a kid did you ever try to Elmer’s Glue your hand together with your best friend’s hand so that you wouldn’t have to leave their house?
8. Did you ever do any science projects in school? If so, tell me about it! [I once made a roller coaster called The Regurgitator!]
9. What is the most expensive accessory you own? (Jewelry, handbag, etc)
10. When you color do you outline it with first and then color it in or do you just make it a free for all color fest?

I’m looking forward to your answers!
Have a great weekend!

Runners Tell All: Well, That Was Bad

 

Topic: Share a bad race or training experience and what you learned from it.

 

So, I’m pretty sure if you’ve been around for a while you know exactly what I’m about to reference.

 

My Non-Marathon Story.

 

It’s long detailed but that is absolutely my worst race, hands down. And it wasn’t actually anything about the race itself, really just the circumstances (*ahem* shitty weather closing the course on me *ahem*) of it all. Making a goal and working towards it for 5 months only to have it slip from your feet 2 miles from the finish line takes a toll on your emotions.

 

It’s been nearly two months and I’d like to say “I’m all good now!” but whenever it pops up in my mind, or I see someone post about their training, I get all side-eyed with myself. Because certainly had I trained harder, I would have been faster and already been done, right? Or perhaps I should have paid closer attention to the course itself before I registered? Maybe I needed more hill training? I shouldn’t have walked, I could have kept pushing through – I think? It’s probably because I didn’t eat enough carbs the week before. Yep, that’s got to be it.

 

After the constant barrage of what-ifs my mind has slung at me since March 2nd the one thing I know for certain that I should have done before my marathon is this -

 

Take into account the unknown

 

I had absolutely no doubt in my head I would cross that finish line. And it wasn’t that I was focused on a certain time, I had allowed myself to acknowledge that it may not be the time I want but DAMMIT it was going to be a time. And, I think for training, that was a good thing. I wanted it and there was nothing that was going to stop me – but then there was. And for me personally, I prefer knowing all my options before going into something.

 

For example, when I was pregnant I knew I wanted an epidural and to deliver vaginally. HOWEVER, I also knew that things happen so I also researched breathing techniques/pain management and c-sections just to cover my bases. I also (I know this will sound morbid, but this is how I roll) looked into stillbirths, etc. Because that is also a possibility. I felt prepared. Much like I felt I was prepared for my marathon ending.

Having the weather close me down wasn’t even an option on my radar and it was an unknown that I did not account for. I really think had I even considered the fact that I may not cross the finish line, I wouldn’t have had such a hard time adjusting to the idea that I’m not an ‘official’ marathoner despite the medal, t-shirt, and months of training. Which, I still haven’t worn my medal – the only reason it’s hanging up with my other ones is because Alfred put it there. I had it in the junk drawer at our house.

 

I think some people do well not knowing the outcome of things, I am not one of those people – and so, for my future marathon (and other races) – taking in all the possible outcomes is definitely on my list.

 

Selfish or Selfless?

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Welcome to 30 Topics; 30 Weeks! This link-up is scheduled for every Wednesday over the next 30 27 weeks. Week 1 and Week 2 posts here.
As a quick run down, it’s based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. But as long as it relatable, I’d love for you to link up! No pressure, I promise. :)
You can find more information on each of the weekly topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF by going here.

Let’s get started!

I (like to) think that most people put others in front of themselves. I’m believe that people are generally kind-hearted and good-natured. I think part of it (for me personally) is genetics, if you’ve met my immediate family we’re all a little loony and over the top in our happiness and then there’s also the way I was raised.

I’m a Christian.

And while I don’t talk a lot about faith in my blog, it’s always there guiding me in how I act towards the world. One of the things that really stuck with me since I was a 5 year old walking to church 7 blocks away on my own because I didn’t want to miss it, was the kindness and selflessness I found in the church. That was something I wanted to reciprocate and put into the world. I equated that with love (and still do mostly) and so, I often have found myself stepping back in order for someone else’s happiness to move forward.

To be honest, I like the way it makes me feel. I like to make people happy just like I enjoy making people laugh – it’s just who I am. But that can also put my own happiness on the back burner – for the most part, it’s small things that make no real difference. I’m laid-back and grudges aren’t my thing, so it’s easy stuff to gloss over.

Me: I really want to eat chicken tonight.
Other Person: Hey, let’s go eat steak instead.
Me: Sure, that sounds good too.

But then there are other times – like training for a marathon where I really struggled with the time I was committing to myself. Because the time I was committing to that (which was more than I really anticipated) was taking away from my family – particularly my daughter. I’m proud that she knows ‘my faster shoes’ and that I’m leading by example (something I didn’t have growing up) but it still is unsettling to me knowing some of her happiness turned into sadness. Especially when I had to tell her I couldn’t take her here or there because of running commitments/injuries etc.

It was certainly a strain on our family near the end as my mileage increased. But running makes me happy, so they were supportive. Running really helped me find myself when I was struggling and it ultimately made me much more pleasant to be around.

Pursuing my own happiness in this jungle of emotions I share for other people is certainly something I struggle with. I’m also a people-pleaser, so I have a hard time telling people ‘no’ when they ask for help even if it’s something that will over exhaust myself or my family. I’ve gotten better over the years but that yearning to pull back and push others forward is something I think I’ll have conflicting emotions with for the rest of my life.

Okay, it’s your turn! Link-up below and share your stories or comment on my post with them (if you don’t have a blog).

Silly Doctors

So, y’all remember last week when I fractured my foot?

Wait. Let me phrase that in a better way.

So, y’all remember last week when the doctors thought I fractured my foot?

Yeah, go ahead and grab that subtle foreshadowing for what I’m about to say and chew on it for a minute.

MY FOOT IS NOT FRACTURED!

I went for my follow-up appointment with my orthopedic doctor on Wednesday and his exact words, “Well, it’s not fractured because you are special.”

I could have jumped for joy (if I weren’t dragging around a 20 lb freaking boot on my left foot); I even had mentioned to Amanda over email right before the appointment about my high hopes. I guess they weren’t too high though, were they?

It wasn’t word for word – but basically, that’s how it went down. Silly doctors.

Turns out when the ortho doc said I was special he meant that I actually have a navicular ossicle that made it look like I had fractured my foot when in reality it was just a really horrible sprain in a really crappy place.

A navicular ossicle is basically an extra bone in my foot that is only prevalent in about 2-12% of people. Usually no symptoms and most people aren’t even aware you can have one. Because it’s not all that common the other two doctors I visited weren’t really sure what they were looking at and just assumed the worst and threw me in crutches and a boot.

I’m now convinced this is the source of all my awesomeness. I have no shame in that.
Also, that is not my x-ray. Yay for Google Images!

To be honest, I probably really did need both of those things at least the first three days. And it’s actually still sore but I’m sitting her typing in my regular tennis shoes and that is golden. I am beyond thrilled. Alfred is having a grand old time telling me that he knew I was faking the entire time and I’m having a great time not walking with crutches.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for the good thoughts & prayers – they clearly helped!

Have a great Easter weekend everyone, I know I will!

Honestly, though.

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Welcome to 30 Topics; 30 Weeks! This link-up is scheduled for every Wednesday over the next 30 28 weeks. Week 1 and Week 2 posts here.

As a quick run down, it’s based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. But as long as it relatable, I’d love for you to link up! No pressure, I promise. :)

You can find more information on each of the weekly topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF by going here.

Let’s get started!

You know, being honest can actually be pretty hard. It’s easy to add on a little fib here or there in the dramatic story you just happen to be sharing. I think blogging really does amplify that. We want what we share to be the funniest, most awesome, most tear-jerking thing you read, so we add some flare. Overall, a little flare doesn’t bother me – as long as it’s easy to distinguish that from a bold-faced lie.

Flare: Girl yes, I swear I was on the phone with the damn electric company for 2 hours! Okay, fine, it was only 20 minutes but you know what I mean. Like they’ve never had someone pay a bill late before.

Bold-faced Lie: The electric company shut me off for no damn reason at all and everything in my icebox is bad. It’s going to cost me hundreds of dollars. I can’t believe this is happening to me!

I think though, it’s even harder to be honest with yourself. It’s easy to look at the lies/fibs you see social media, your friends & family, etc portray and think those apply to me without really looking within yourself to see why you think that.

Before I really made an effort to get healthy (by running mostly and eating slightly better) after I had Lillie, I remember reading all these glorious articles about how breastfeeding just drops the pounds after you have a child.

Hey, let’s attach a small child to your boob and BAM! you’re instantly 3 sizes smaller! Best weight loss program, EVAH.

I was convinced that this was my truth and when it turned out it wasn’t (which is actually pretty common despite the articles out there you come across) I was devastated. You mean, I have to actually put forth effort in eating right & exercise? BOLOGNA.

MMM. Bologna.

I cried about my lack of weight loss outwardly but inwardly I knew that I was failing me because I was lying to myself about my true effort in getting healthy. Once I became honest with myself about my own shortcomings, I began to enjoy my new adventure into running. I began to enjoy my new life. I was proud of what and who I was becoming. And that all started with me being honest with myself.

It’s really hard to look at your life to see where improvements can be made to only realize the reason those improvements haven’t been met sooner is because of you. But the sooner you do it, the easier the rest of your life gets. Sometimes honesty hurts but in the long haul, (for me at least) it seems to be worth it. So, I try my best to deal with the truth even when I don’t want to. And I try to do it with a smile on face and warmth in my heart.

If you’d like to link up, post your blog below so we can check it out! See you next week!

Lillie Lately v.4

 

Click below if you’re interested in other Lillie-isms.
Lillie Lately v.1
Lillie Lately v.2
Lillie Lately v.3

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Alfred, Lillie and myself were on a short road trip (about an hour long) and we passed a small swim park. You could see the top of the slides above the fence and it was pirate-themed. Lillie likes Jake & The Neverland Pirates (and most recently has called her father Captain Hook with his eye situation) so I pointed it out to her.

I swear, we’re good parents.
Also, Alfred says she’s wearing mom shorts.

Me: Look Lillie! Do you see the water slides and pirates?
Lillie: YES!
Me: Would you like to visit there sometime?
Lillie: YAYYY! We can go right now?
Me: No, we can’t go right now. It’s a little chilly out. We will have to wait for summer time.
Lillie: <looking slightly disappointed> Okay.

5 minutes later, we hear her tapping on the window and pointing to the sun that had just come out from behind the clouds.

Lillie: Mama, it IS summer day. There’s the sun. It IS summer out! We can go!!

Me: (turning to Alfred) I’m not going to win this, am I?
Alfred: You do it to yourself. Every time.

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We decided that we wanted to plant a small garden, mostly tomatoes and peppers. We bought strawberries for Lillie and put them in her own plant container to take care of. We worked on it over the weekend and she was really excited about it. We had just finished planting everything (including her strawberries) and took a popsicle break. About 20 minutes later, she runs as hard as she can to the plant container, peers in enthusiastically, sighs incredibly loud and walks back to me looking defeated.

Lillie: Mama, they not growing yet.
Me: Sorry babe. It’s going to take a little while for them to grow.
Lillie: Aww, you’re killing me!

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Lillie and I have about a 20 commute every day back and forth from daycare to home. Most of the time she fills me in on who her current best friend is or if she’s had a particularly uneventful day, she won’t say anything – she’ll just stare out the window until we pull into our garage.

I thought she was having a quiet day. She hadn’t said anything for about 10 minutes. But then…

Lillie: Mama! It’s a choo-choo train!
Me: [startled because it had been so quiet, and she was so loud] Yes. That’s a train.

We were driving south, the train was going north.

Lillie: Where is it going?
Me: I’m not sure. To a train depot?
Lillie: WE ARE DRIVING TOWARDS ITS BOOTY! {insert insane giggles}
Me: [laughing] Yeah, it’s actually called a caboose.
Lillie: IT’S A CABOOTY!

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Just because.

Stairs are Stupid. So are fractures.

Um.

You know how I run stairs weekly with Moj? Typically, it’s 40-60 minutes of heart-pumping, sweat dropping, why the hell do I do this myself workouts and not once have I ever tripped. We run up the stairs, we go up two at a time, we go up sideways, we lunge, basically, we kill the workout. Based on this, one may assume I’m fairly good at going up & down stairs.

But this assumption is wrong. It is so terribly wrong.

Because while I may kill a stair workout, I also try to kill myself when leisurely walking down a staircase on my lunch break. Somehow on Tuesday, I missed a step and landed wrong on my left foot. I immediately fell to the ground and then popped right back up. Had I been alone, I probably would have sat there for a moment but because I was walking down stairs located directly in front of an eating establishment on campus – I was not alone. I was surrounded by 30 students who witnessed my drop from heaven.

And that was slightly embarrassing.

I did not make eye contact, I did not pass go and I did not collect $200. I did; however, quickly grab my stuff that fell from purse and thank the few students who helped me and hobbled straight to the gym to workout.

Yeah. I’m the moron who fractures her foot, ignores the pulsing pain, and cycles for 30 minutes thinking I’ll just work through it.

Technically, I did, I worked through it and made it back to my office. I immediately took off my shoe, thought I noticed some swelling and then sat down and ate lunch. It was painful but nothing over the top, so I stood up to get some ice on it. And then I immediately fell back down in my chair. I attempted to put my shoe back on – yeah, not happening – and told my co-worker I was going to the doctor.

I managed to make it outside of my office by about 10 feet before my boss (and dear friend) caught me hobbling inch by inch in tears to my truck. We side-armed another co-worker into pushing me through the building in my office chair, while another went and brought my truck around to the front. Luckily, it was my left foot and it did not impede my ability to drive or to curse.

Oh, the cursing.

Once I made it through X-rays, my doctor came in to confirm what I already felt like I knew – something was seriously screwed up in my foot. My navicular bone has a small fracture in it.

It’s only been a couple days but I’m definitely over it – frustration doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings about this. But you know, I can always count on Lillie to pull me from the dumps.

Walking in with my shoe & crutches, Lillie runs to me.

Lillie: MAMA! What is on your foot?
Me: It’s a special shoe I have to wear because I got hurt today.
Lillie: You go to doctor?
Me: Yeah, the doctor is the one that gave it to me.
Lillie: Why?
Me: Because I wasn’t watching where I was going and I fell down the stairs. That’s why I tell you to be careful and look where you’re going, otherwise you’ll be going to the doctor too.
Lillie: Oh. Well, I go to your work tomorrow and I hold your hand and we BE CAREFUL. You’ll not fall.

God bless children. Even when they don’t get it, they still get it.

It could have been a lot worse but for now, I’m stuck wearing a very fancy shoe and sporting some oh-so-styling crutches. I have a follow-up appointment with an orthopedic doctor next week to see what this actually means. And by means, I mean like when can I start running/being active again.

If you have any spare good thoughts/karma/prayers for a speedy recovery, I’m accepting all donations.

Problem, Uh, What Problem?

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Welcome to 30 Topics; 30 Weeks! This link-up is scheduled for every Wednesday over the next 30 29 weeks. You can find Week 1 posts here.

As a quick run down, it’s based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. But as long as it relatable, I’d love for you to link up! No pressure, I promise. :)

You can find more information on each of the weekly topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF by going here.

Let’s get started!

I do not like conflict. At all. If I just happen to get into an argument, odds are I’m going to say something quick and feisty, then cross my arms over my chest while I stare at you with hate-filled eyes. Nothing else will be said because I’ll be busy (literally) biting my tongue so I don’t say something hateful that I’ll regret later.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, you never forget those hateful things someone says to you in the heat of the moment. And I never want to give someone one of those moments. (Full disclosure, I probably have but I make an honest effort not too).

In my personal life, I’m more prone to run. I’ll avoid the situation for as long as I can handle because I don’t want any feelings to be hurt. This usually backfires and every few months I get really down on myself and lash out at people for what appears to be no reason. I’ve made huge strides from where I used to be. Especially within my marriage. I was so afraid of being wrong, or hurting someone, I would just say nothing and hold on to those feelings of resentment. But as I’ve grown and gained trust in my true friendships, I’ve really tried to make it a point to talk to Alfred (or anyone I’m close with) about things that bother me. It sucks in the moment, but I’ve found if I keep a cool, logical head – they usually do too and after a couple days, things just go right back to where they need to be.

In my professional life, I hit things head on. I’ve been working full-time in a professional atmosphere for nearly 9 years and I’ve made it a point to learn from my older peers. I’ve listened to advice, I’ve witnessed when interactions go wrong and I’ve found that most of the time it’s when someone avoids some kind of issue. If you can jump in and fix the problem when it first appears, odds are you all are going to be happier. Also, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it doesn’t make me feel good about myself to get things fixed before my boss can even reply to the issue.

So, I guess I’m 50/50 on it. And I guess like anything, it really depends on what the problem is. If it’s an ever-growing pile of laundry but I can still squeeze out one more wear of my jeans before starting a load – I’m going too. But if it’s something that is emotionally draining and affecting all aspects of my life, particularly being a mother, I’d rather tackle it and be done.

31 Years

I thought about writing a really sappy love letter to my husband on his birthday but after bragging about him a bit last week, I don’t want him to start thinking he means that much to me. I mean, we haven’t been together for 13 years because we simply love each other. That’s crap you only see on movies.

There’s so much more that makes me grateful for him – his ability to remember every damn argument we’ve ever had, his naturally long eyelashes that he masterfully bats at me to get his way, the fact that even when I’m fuming mad he can make me laugh so hard I cry which in turn makes me even more mad, his inability to find any pair of socks – ever, and the list goes on and on. But I’ll just leave it with some of my favorite photos over the years.

 

Happy Birthday Alfred.

Here’s to hoping that next year on your birthday Lillie wakes you up with a pleasant, soft “Happy Birthday” instead of a loud and overbearing, “BOO!”

Who Do You Spend Time With?

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Welcome to 30 Topics; 30 Weeks! This link-up is scheduled for every Wednesday over the next 30 weeks. If you miss Wednesday, just link up on Thursday. We’re not picky.

As a quick run down, it’s based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. But as long as it relatable, I’d love for you to link up! No pressure, I promise. :)

You can find more information on the weekly topics by clicking here and if you’d like to download them in PDF form, you can do that by going here. Let’s get started!

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I am an optimist. I assume the best in people. I’m a fan of second chances and even the occasional third chance. I like going through life with my heart open to new friendships. I’ve met amazing people because of it.

I’ve also met some really shitty people because of it - who have confused my kindness for weakness and taken advantage of me.

When I was younger, I was convinced everyone was my friend. And if they weren’t? WELL, WHY THE HELL NOT? I wasted a lot of time worrying about other people instead of focusing on making myself a better person. Simply put, I was a people pleaser who only saw faults in myself, even if the fault was clearly in the other person.

As I’ve grown older, and admittedly more assertive, I’ve realized that not everyone is my friend. I have people in my life I like, I enjoy but that I do not seek out and I think that’s alright. So, my circle of ‘friends’ may have diminished significantly since I was 16 hanging out at the local car wash but I think the quality of friends I currently have certainly makes up for it. I’m learning to make time for the right people in my life and sidestepping the wrong people.

I spend a lot of time with my husband. He is my best friend. And has been for nearly 13 years. He was there with me hanging out at the local car wash, he was there with me when I finally saw my mom after 4 years, he was there with me as I finished school (high school and college!), got my first real jobs, and gave birth to our beautiful daughter. That is only 1% of our life together. There is so much more. He is one of the right people in my life. And I know this because we both choose to be involved with each other.

Farming is important to him (not so much to me) but I make time to share those experiences with him and learn about it. It gives us something to talk about beyond the weather, our daughter, and local small-town gossip. He, on the other hand, listens to me ramble on and on about running, or books that that I love. He has no interest in running or reading, but he’ll listen. Like I said, we choose to be involved with each other and that’s part of why I think we’ve been so successful in our marriage. We both want to be here. Even on the days when we don’t. Like, when he doesn’t pick up his soda tabs. Or when I forget to unload the washer and our clothes smell moldy. [I’m not the only one this happens too, am I?!]

I thought about listing Lillie first because I spend a ridiculous amount of time not only with her, but worrying about her. But the fact is, without Alfred, there would be no Lillie. Without the foundation we’ve built over the past decade there’s no way we would have survived that first year post-partum.

I spend time with My Emilie, who I consider family. We’ve been close friends for 8 years (more, I think?) and know more about each other than we should probably admit. And since my sister has moved back to Texas, we’ve gotten a lot closer. There are other people who are very important to me (my in-laws, my family, a few other friends) but seeing as I don’t want this to go on for days, I’ll start winding it down.

I’m lucky to share my life with these wonderful people. But I’m blessed that they choose to share their life with me.

Now, it’s your turn. Link-up below and check out others that join in and comment when you can!

30 Topics; 30 Weeks Link-Up Information

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Starting tomorrow, every Wednesday for the next 30 weeks I’ll be hosting a link-up based on the following two articles from Marc and Angel Hack Life.

30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself

30 Things To Start Doing For Yourself

Go ahead and read them both, it won’t take longer than 5 minutes, promise.

You good? Okay, great.

I’ve been subscribed to Marc & Angel for about two years now and even if you don’t participate in this link-up, they have some really great insightful posts they share on the regular – highly recommend adding this to your daily reads.

When I read these articles, a lot of the things mentioned seemed to strike a chord with me. I found myself nodding along in agreement, reminding myself of memories, or moments or my life in general. Over the past two years my blog has mostly morphed into a running shack of race recaps, personal bests and my fitness goals and I love it for that. However, I’d like to branch out a little bit and having writing prompts via link-up seemed like a good place to start.

 

To download your own copy or just to see it better – you can click here.

Feel free to use the titles I’ve mentioned (in red) or to use the prompts (in black) as a starting block to what you want to write about. These things are not concrete. You do not have to write your post based on the questions I posed – I just wanted to put some ideas out there in case you were struggling. I would highly suggest looking over the two articles mentioned above and doing your own take on their topics.

For example: On the April 2nd post – Who Do You Spend Time With? – you may want to write about your family members and describe your relationship or maybe instead you want to talk about how you struggle with finding time for those that matter. Honestly, it’s however you want to take it. Be as creative as you want.

Once you’ve published your post, just come back here and link-up to share your musings.

Guidelines:

• Write an awesome post every Wednesday for the next 30 weeks.
  
• Link up. (I’ll try to have my post up by 8am)
  
• Don’t be a jerk.
  
• Check other contributors out and comment.

Easy peasy. If you have any questions, shoot me an email. Otherwise, I’ll see you guys here tomorrow. Can’t wait!