I don't generally get embarrassed easily, I mean, I do embarrassing things on the daily but I'm a 'laugh at myself' type person. So, if I happen to fall up the stairs [which is surprisingly often], I'll sit there for a moment, gather my composure, stand up and say something along the lines of 'Bippity Bop can't make it to the top that way' hardy-hardy-har-har.
[Now that I think of it, I probably make it a lot worse than it already is...oops.]
Anywho, I've mentioned before how I just knew growing up that I would someday be a famous actress, right? Well, this has to do with that.
My first couple semesters of college I was a theatre major. I was convinced I was brilliant [living in a small town can sometimes do that to you] and figured everyone would be awed at my talent. [Foreshadow: Uh, not so much.]
One of the stipulations of my degree was that I had to try out for the 3 major productions if I wanted to participate in any of the productions throughout the academic year. No big deal, right?
There were 3 sections of the audition that we would have to participate in: acting, singing & dancing. Before I continue, let me share a little bit of information about myself - I do not sing. I do not dance. Well, I mean I do those things, but not well. And at 17, I certainly never did those things in front of people. [Now, I figure if you don't like my cat-in-heat mewing for a voice, then you can put some headphones on, because this girl is gonna jam.]
|Yes, those are some of my 'real' dance moves. |
Also, can someone tell me when the running man went out of style?
I had picked out a song earlier in the day with some sheet music. I opted for a Disney tune. One that I adored. A few other girls did the same thing.
I listened to the song on repeat all day and tried my darndest to sound like Ariel. [I did not.] But as my 10pm audition time neared, I was feeling it. I knew I didn't sound great, but I thought hey, I can fake it. So, as I was talking to some other auditioneers - someone mentioned, they hate it when you don't have the lyrics memorized. So, I attempted to memorize all the lyrics because there was no telling when they would stop me [it never crossed my mind that they'd let me keep going, because like I said - I sound like a penguin gargling salt water] and they were only taking about 8 people on stage at a time. We all sat down in the chairs provided. And one-by-one we were called. I have to say, the amount of talent in the theatre community is unreal, I was definitely out of my element. But I stood up, handed my sheet music to the piano player and...
missed my cue.
The 3 judges [yes, it was set up exactly like American Idol so I can call them judges] allowed me to try again. I didn't miss my opening, but once I got past the chorus I completely blanked. I did not know the words. I did not know what to do. I just stood there. Mouth agape, tears beginning to fill my eyes as all 3 judges looked down a their papers and started to make notes. The piano player eventually caught on and stopped playing. It felt like hours. Hours. It was probably only a few bars. I managed to shuffle back to my seat and the girl sitting next to me gave me some great advice, "Don't let them see you cry. You did a great job and you should be proud of yourself." But uh, yeah, embarrassed to the max.
Disaster Area #2: Dancing
You saw my moves above. I can barely walk [hello, falling upstairs again!] much less move to a beat. I had never had any formal dance classes, I mean, unless you count the Macarena.
By this time I had already armpit-sweated through my shirt. And I think I needed a piece of gum.
Caution Area #3: Acting
I actually don't feel bad about this part of the audition process, but seeing as it was nearing 1a.m. I'm certain my judgement was fairly skewed. I remember having to lay on a couch. It was all very dramatic.And incredibly uninspiring.
Results: No callback.
The whole scenario was just embarrassing. I can laugh about it now, but I remember leaving the performing arts building, unlocking the door to my car and silently crying in the driver's seat for a good 30 minutes before I even attempted to make it back to the dorm.
But hey, if one good thing came from this - I actually do know all they lyrics to Part of Your World now.
BEST MOM EVER, AM I RIGHT?!