Tuesday, July 24, 2012

When Potty Training Goes Awry

For months now my mother-in-law has let me know she's ready to start helping me help myself by working with Lillie on going potty in well, the potty. And not her pants. Or her diapers. [If you've had a kid or babysat - you know sometimes those two go hand-in-hand - literally.]
Lillie has been interested [and by that I mean she follows you into the bathroom, points at your magical naked bits and tries to wipe for you by attacking you with toilet paper - awk.ward.] in pee-pee & poo-poo, so we've been taking it slow. Setting her on the potty, giving her high praises [and jellybeans] when she goes, or even when she tells us she needs to go [sometimes we don't make it on time].

Which is exactly where this story is going.

Sunday the husband and I ventured over to our best friends, Emilie & Justin's, house for a few reasons.
1. We were bored.
2. Emilie's sister, Erin, and mom were there helping Emilie clean so that after her baby shower this weekend we can just go ahead and put up everything where it needed to be and I said I'd help.
3. Erin's daughters were there and we knew Lillie would love to play with them.
Abbie & Lillie a few weeks ago swimming.

It was a pretty great day. The guys had their guy time. The girls had their girl time. And the kids had their kid time. So, when the day started to become evening, it's just kind of understand in our bromance/sistermance situation that we just pig out for dinner at that person's house. Emilie made meatloaf. Pretty amazeballs.
Afterwards, the guys were still doing their thing and since Emilie is stocked full of baby stuff already [even though her shower isn't until Saturday - seriously, what are the rest of us supposed to even buy when you already have everything!] she said we could grab what we needed and Lilz could take a bath.
I love my friends.

We go to the bathroom, I start running the water. And Lillie loves the water, so she's staring at it being her normal adorable self when she points to her butt and says those two awesome words - Poo Poo. So, I grab her pants, drop them at lightning speed, reach for her diaper, pull it off and ...
a turd drops on the ground.
It rolls.
Lillie smiles.

At this point I may or may not have shrieked a little as I threw placed Lillie on the potty. I grabbed some toilet paper and did the quick grab-and-drop you see people do for when their dogs crap in a public place. Or at your house when you have company over. [Never fails, am I right?]

And then I looked over my shoulder making sure that no one saw what just happened. Yeah, I did that.

We finished our bath, my heart rate slowed down and things were going peachy. Until...
I realized I didn't grab her a clean diaper. Normally, I would have just yelled at Emilie to bring me one from her bag, but you see - Emilie is currently nicknamed Gimpy because she is very graceful and managed to mess her up knee last week. So, I opted to not yell at her.

Which lead into a naked baby running amok. Now, if you haven't had the joy of watching a naked baby run around as if they were clothed, it is pure joy. They fricking love it. And we love it because they are hilarious.

But what we don't love is when they stop, look down and pee. Yes, you read that right. I said pee.

My daughter has in a span of 10 minutes - pooped & peed on the floor at my best friend's house. I don't know what I thought I could do, but apparently, I thought if I picked her up fast enough it would stop. It did not.

She continued until she was finished as I held her out away from me by her arms and profusely apologized to my Emilie who may have been dying from laughter at this point.

I don't normally embarrass in front of Emilie. We have both seen each other through a lot, probably more than any normal person should see of someone who they aren't married too. But it works for us. And thank the sweet baby Jesus she is amazing and laughed it off as I tried to scrub pee from her floor.

But I guess, then again, we shouldn't really be surprised. I mean, Lillie did throw-up on their brand new couch last year. Like so new we were over there putting it in their house because they just came home with it new.

Yeah, we're those parents with that kid. But, hey, at least she's cute, right?


Abbey said...

Hahaha I bet that was a real proud mama day for you. I mean, at least your friend has her own kids. I feel like once you're a mom you gain a certain comfort level with other people's bodily functions. Or kids' body stuff, anyway.

Joslin Williams said...

Haha I don't even know what I'd do. I panic when I have little sister disasters.

And yes, your daughter is SUPER cute!

Jodi said...

Hey look at it this way - at least potty training gives you good blog material!! Haha!

Sar said...

Bwaaaahahaha I knew it was funny but it's even better the second time around. So fantastic.

Adrienne said...

OH my goodness, that's hilarious! I'm sure your friend, being a mom herself, totally gets it!

Kate said...

This is seriously one of the funniest things I've read in a long, long time. I laughed so hard. Best. story. ever.

Please, PLEASE tell this story every time she brings a boy over to meet you. If they stick around, it'll be prove how dedicated they are. :P