15 Day Challenge 2012: Day 8

[8] Describe "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" of yourself.

The Good

I'm sure if you've been reading for a while, it's like O-to the-M-to the-G, shut up about your adorably, amazing kid that is quite possibly the cutest thing to ever walk the face of the earth, but tough cookie. It ain't gonna stop any time soon. 

I mean, she's my good. I'm sure I may have other 'good' attributes, but I'm not a huge bragger [unless, obviously, it comes to my kid] so I'm going to cop out and just go with her. She really does push me to be a better person, because I want her to be proud of me in a way I've never cared for anyone else too. I want her to be able to say, "Oh yeah, my mom is better than your mom because she said I could use the word butt and your mom said you couldn't!"

Making sure I don't forget who my #1 is. And Bubbles, the cat, is not it.

She helps remind me to not be selfish [even though not sharing the last bit of ice cream really does sound good in my head at the time], she helps remind me that sometimes just smiling at a random person can actually change someones outlook on the day [even though it doubles the amount of time we spend in the grocery store], she helps remind me of the every day joys of life that we all seem to learn to complicate over the course of growing up. Or just take for granite. She's the good I've brought into the world and she's what brings the good out in me.

The Bad

I kind of get wrapped up in my own life, so I can sometimes forget to reach out and maintain friendships. I don't do it on purpose. I just...I just do. I mean, it's like "Oh, let me call Susie because ....oohhhh something shiny!" Life is really distracting at times. Not an excuse, but it is what it is. I've been working on this because I hate it, but still it continues to happen. *sigh*

The Ugly

This picture of me at Lillie's 1st birthday. (Yes, we had a theme, [Lillie in One-derland] I don't *normally* dress as the Queen of Hearts.)

I mean,  the obvious double chin & Satan eyes, I'm mustering up in this picture are definitely not doing me any favors. And while the photo above is me doing the ugly, I think it can also be a representation of how I [maybe everyone?] sometimes feel about myself. How in a moment I can go from being a rock star to feeling self-conscious and worthless based on a picture someone took that I don't think puts me in the best light. We really can be our own worst enemy. And I think with social media - facebook, twitter, heck, even blogging - we learn to portray ourselves how not only we want to be seen but how we want the world to see us. It's so easy to do.
You want to be thinner? Post pictures that portray you that way. Untag those that don't.
You want to be more adventurous? Post a status about how you just went skydiving [even if you didn't and all you did was watch people skydive]
You want to be smarter? Google that shit. [Totally guilty of this]
I really do try to just be me. But still, I only share with you what I want. I don't tell you how the other day I wanted to punch my awesome husband in the face because he made some smart-ass comment about how the dishes weren't done. I don't tell you about how I couldn't wait to go back to work after having Lillie, even though I'm supposed to say "Ohmygawd I miss my baby so bad!" I mean, now I do, but those first few months adjusting to motherhood were incredibly hard for me. Nobody, myself included, is perfect and yet it's so easy to pretend to be.
And it's those things that people don't post that we forget about. We see what we want. It's so easy to compare and say how horrible our lives are when we see someone talking about how they just went to England on whim and are having the time of their life. Or when someone posts "I'm so happy I got out of my hometown! I'm living the life!" And you're still in the exact same place 10 years later.
And that's just ugly to think less of yourself because of someone else. But it happens. And I'm way guilty of it.

I imagine we all are in some way.

Anyway, back to the funny [coping mechanism, much?].
I sometimes have a double chin and you know what, I rock the shit out of it. [Fake it till you make it right?]

Lillie's baptism