Relationship vs. Relationshit

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12.

Week 13!

Relationships vs. Relationshits

I feel like the descriptors of this particular week from the two articles mentioned above make this definitely sound like a intimate relationship type of prompt. But seeing as I’ve been with the same guy for the past 13 years – it doesn’t particularly apply to me in that way.

But if I swap out the word friendships for relationships? Totally.

Over the years I’ve had a number of friendships – high school friends, college, co-workers, friends of friends – and I cherish the time I’ve spent with all those people. Even if some of them did end abruptly or in heartache or in anger because they’ve all taught me that it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. Whether that company has made me feel like less of a person or caused issues in my marriage, it’s something to learn from. So as I’ve gotten older I’ve become more exclusive to who I let into my personal inner circle.

Some days Alfred and I will look around and think, we should be more open, and so we try. But we don’t want friends for the sake of having friends, we want people we can depend on, who we can trust, and who are kind. People’s actions really do speak louder than words. Alfred has always been a really good judge of character and can usually tell right away what type of person we are bringing into our life. Me, on the other hand, really truly wants to believe the best in people. I tend to give second chances (or third… or fourth) and it takes a lot for me to just pull away from a person.

I think it should also be said that it’s really hard to finding married couples where we like both spouses (and trust them). It’s not that we don’t enjoy the company of single friends, it’s just that priorities are a little different when you’re in a committed relationship. Sometimes that doesn’t always come across in those friendships or it gets thrown to the wayside causing friction in your relationship. Trusting your instinct and gut reaction to people has shown (to me anyway) to be a good indicator of how things will turn out. Fortunately for me, my gut reaction to one guy in particular proved a number of people wrong and we couldn’t be happier.

Have you ever suffered from a relationshit?
Are you picky when it comes to making friends?

 

Runners Tell All: My Proudest Moment

Your Favorite and/or Proudest Running Moment
Crossing that first finish line? Running a mile without walking?
What’s your proudest running moment to date? Brag on yourself!

When Amanda first mentioned this link-up, I scanned all the topics with excitement trying to figure out what I’d post for each one of them, and I knew – without a doubt – that when this topic came up what I would choose. I just knew it’d be the moment I crossed the finish line of my first marathon. (This link-up started a couple months before my race.)

But that didn’t exactly pan out like I wanted, so while I’m very proud of what I did accomplish, it’s not at the top of my list when I start scanning my brain for great race moments over the past 2 1/2 years. (Dudes. I’ve been actively running that long, CRAZY.)

The thing my mind always settles back into is my third half-marathon – The Bearathon. In that blog post, I explain a little why it meant so much to me at the time but to sum it up – it was the race I had worked for (in my mind) for at least a year. It was ultimately my goal race, even though it wasn’t technically my first half.

Everything just came together – the weather was great, I felt strong (despite the freakish hills), and I made sure to enjoy every single mile (even when I wanted to chew my legs off and jump in a taxi). There was also no one there at the finish line for me.

Does that sound sad? I promise, it wasn’t.

It made it full circle for me. No one was there to push me to start running, I was just there – alone in a gym, scared as hell that people were going to judge my 200 lbs of awesomeness for jiggling on a treadmill but I did it. And I did it over and over again, until finally – there I was alone at a finish line knowing I fucking did it. And it was wonderful. I proved to myself what I was capable of and …then I videoed my reaction. I’m glad I did, it serves me a good reminder of who I was, who I am and who I’m going to be.

Lillie Lately v.5

Lillie’s off spending the week with her grandparents for “boot camp” – where basically they keep all the grandkids for a full week and do awesome things with them – zoo, museum, swimming, fishing, etc – and no technology is allowed. She’s technically only 2 miles down the road from me but I’m missing her something terrible (she’s been gone since Saturday evening) so I thought I’d share another Lillie Lately. Enjoy!

Lillie Lately v.1; v.2; v.3; & v.4

---

I was in the kitchen cooking dinner when I walked into the living room to grab a dirty cup on the coffee table.

Lillie: What you doing?
Me: Picking up a cup & cooking.
Lillie: I want to play a game.
Me: Well, I can’t play one right now but when dinner is done we’ll see.
Lillie: But, but, if we don’t play a game I won’t stay at your home.
Me: Oh, you won’t?
Lillie: No. I will go.
Me: Well, where will you go?
[Lillie stares at me with an a confused expression on her face. You can practically see the wheels in her head turning to find a good response]
Lillie: Uh…, I don’t know.
Me: Didn’t think that through, did you?
Lillie: (Shrugging her shoulders) Oh, mama. You so silly. I will stay and be your best friend.

---

We have a collection of Disney Princess Bedtime Stories and lately, Lillie has been picking out which princess to read about. This particular time, she chose Ariel.

Lillie interrupts me to point out that Ariel is now on land with Prince Eric in the picture provided in the book.

Me: Yes, she pulled him from the shipwreck.
Lillie: But why?
Me: So, he wouldn’t drown and die.
Lillie: Why?
Me: Because she loves him, I guess.
Lillie: Oh.

I continue to read. She interrupts me again.

Lillie: Mama, mama. She has to live in water.
Me: Yes, she’s a mermaid.
Lillie: She can’t live in a house.
Me: No, she has to live in the water or she’ll die.
Lillie: I think, I think she probably needs to live in a water house. (She whispered water house like it was a big secret)
Me: (laughing) Okay then, what would it look like?
Lillie: Like dis house. (She raises her arm to indicate her room) Filled with water. She will not die dat way.
Me: That’s a great idea, Lillie.
Lillie: Yeah. I know.

---

Lillie notices the book I’m reading on the end table – Allegiant (from the Divergent Series).

Lillie: Mama, is dat your book?
Me: Yeah.

Lillie touches the book cover gently and looks up at me.

Me: You can look at it if you want.

Lillie excitedly opens it up and starts fanning through the pages quickly.

Me: Hey hey, slow down. Don’t tear my pages.
Lillie: WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?

She seems fairly frantic now, still flipping through.

Me: Mama’s books don’t always have pictures.
Lillie: WHY? WHERE ARE THEY?
Me: Because I don’t need them. When I read the words, I listen to them and make up the pictures in my head. That way I can imagine anything I want too. Sounds neat, huh?

Lillie furrows her brow, takes one last look at all the words on the page, and I think maybe she actually sees my point as she looks into my eyes. Then she closes the book with a flick of her wrist and simply says,
“No. I want pictures.”

Accept the Challenge

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 & 11.

Week 12!

Accept the Challenge:
Do you embrace the opportunities that come your way or are you more reserved?
Where does your comfort zone lie and have you ever left it in the dust?

I’d like to think I’m this spontaneous let’s go out in the world and conquer it person but I’m not really. I’m the type of person that looks at something and overanalyzes every angle and every outcome to the point that I procrastinate in making any type of decision and then I’m just shit out of luck.

I think part of it stems from growing up in a chaotic home – things were hardly organized and never planned. One day we were living in Arizona and two days later we moved to Kansas. There was only one week left of school, there was no real reason other than my mom’s boyfriend at the time thought it was a good idea (his family lived in Kansas) and to be honest, it still hurts my heart that my feelings weren’t taken into consideration with it. Or at the very least, that it felt like I had no say in it. As in, no “let me explain why this is necessary” moment.  So, I’m more reserved in my decisions because I don’t want them to negatively affect those around me – particularly my husband and my daughter.

Instead of reserved, I think I’d rather say responsible. Sure, dropping everything in a moment’s notice to fly off to Hawaii sounds good in theory but there’s bills to be paid & mouths to be fed. With that said, the husband and I did manage a one night getaway this past weekend on a whim since Lillie is spending the week with her grandparents and cousins. It wasn’t planned, we just wanted to head out to the coast (about a 4 hr drive) for the day but then ended up staying overnight. It was definitely a nice vacation from my normal responsible mom mode and a good reminder that not everything has to be perfectly planned to have a good time.

Biscuit & Gravy

Alfred & I have officially become the best parents in the world. We caved and not only got Lillie a puppy – but a kitten as well. For the past two weeks, our conversations have gone mostly like this:

Lillie: Where is Biscuit? She needs a hug.
Me: Why don’t you leave her alone for a few minutes. Let her breath.
Lillie: But she needs hugs, not breaths.

She’s a wonderful little puppy that my husband somehow convinced me was a good investment when he snatched her up from a friends house. They didn’t have the time for her, so it’s worked out well for both of us at this point. We estimate she’s around 3 months old and something like a Chihuahua/dachshund mix. I’m just basing that off of her pointy ears and incredibly long torso/short legs. Watching her run full-speed makes my heart happy. It’s like she has no joints at all, her legs just kick straight out and up.

Gravy came home with Alfred a couple days later when she jumped in his truck – twice – and she actually let Alfred hold her. We’ve had a few cats over the years (I’m a huge cat lover) but the downfall every time is that they won’t let Alfred just hold them when he wants too. Basically Alfred’s problem with cats is pretty simple: they’re not dogs, so I was really surprised to see him carrying a cat.

I must note that Biscuit was already named when we got her but Gravy was not. My Emilie gets full credit for that. They both get along really well and play together nicely. Since we’re not home for most of the day, it’s nice to know they’re not lonely (one of the reasons I held off on saying yes to a puppy for so long).

House training has been a nice reminder as to why we don’t have a second child - cleaning up poop is overrated.

Which reminds me – when Lillie calls Biscuit. It sounds pretty similar to “BIIIIGSHIIIT” and it is hilarious.

Based on that fact alone – totally worth the poop.

Currently Dreaming

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 & 10.

Week 11!

Dream It, Do It
What are your dreams in life?

This particular topic is proving to be difficult for me. It shouldn’t be though, right? I mean, everyone has dreams…or I guess, we’re taught that everyone should have dreams. I’m not really sure. I’m trying to find something that I’m reaching for in my life and I honestly have nothing.

Maybe it’s because when I think of dreams, I think of the unattainable. Like, climbing Mt. Everest on a whim even though I’ve never climbed a mountain before. Dreams are something nice to think about but not something on my radar.

For me, thinking in terms of goals is much more realistic. When you say goal, you’re working towards something, but with dreams it’s all kind of wishy-washy. I’m sure that’s not the way it is for everyone but for me personally, they mean different things.

So, I guess don’t have dreams. I have goals. One of the biggest was completing a marathon and while that didn’t exactly happen how I envisioned, the journey to that moment was one of my biggest life accomplishments. It was a goal I worked towards for months and that’s something to be proud of.

What about you? What dreams do you have?

National Running Day 2014

Last year on National Running Day I went back & forth on whether or not I should post something inspirational or motivational – I eventually decided on doing neither.

Instead I decided to share some of my “best” race photos over that past year. And by best I mean – absolutely shameful. The kind of photos you would un-tag of yourself if they showed up on your Facebook feed and then give your friend the stank eye for even uploading them in the first place. Well, everyone except me.

You see, I love every single race photo I take. Even the bad ones (especially the bad ones!) because they share my personal message that you don’t have to look like a runner to be a runner. It’s all in the attitude you have.

 From sliding down a 40 foot tarp into a pool of mud.

To using all your strength for a jumping photo in a race only to find out the photographer didn’t even capture the jump. Or maybe he did and the fact is, you really just have no ups.
#whitegirlscantjump

To running incredibly fast by your husband that he catches the most amazing action* shot known to man. Even though clearly there’s a girl in a boot beating you.

*this photo may or may not have been staged for the purposes of this blog

And there was that one time when I had no neck. After the race, I went home and the only shampoo I could use was Head & Shoulders. Get it? Get it?! BECAUSE I HAVE NO NECK, IT’S ONLY FOR HEAD AND SHOULDERS.
Oh, I kill me. 

Hope you all had a wonderful National Running Day! Until next year!

Being Your Own Change

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If you’re new here, this link-up is every Wednesday (until the 30 weeks are up) and it’s based off these two articles – here and here. You are welcome to take the points in any direction you choose, what I go off of is only something to get the ol’ brain ticking. Original post is here.

I hope you’ll join me!

Previous posts: Week 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9.

Week 10!

Being Your Own Change: Do you create your own happiness?

I don’t know if I create my own happiness (I certainly try) but I am really good at finding the silver lining in things.

Growing up we moved around a lot (nope, not military) in part due to my moms alcoholism and just sheer bad luck. I don’t know if you’ve ever been uprooted from your friends as an 8 year old but it is devastating. You know no one, kids are mean (I still remember the names of my bullies), and typically you can’t grasp why it was so important to move away anyway. It all feels like everyone is out to get you.

It sucked at the time (Texas, Utah, Arizona, Kansas and back to Texas in a span of 3ish years) but looking back it really did teach me that even in the most unknown circumstances, there is good. My mom had her vices but one of the things she taught me by example was kindness. And in that kindness, I was taught how to be happy. How to laugh when things seemed impossible because just around the corner there is always a light. Always.

It’s a choice every day despite whatever shitty hand you are dealt whether you are going to filled with sunshine or drown yourself in the dark – and so I choose sunshine. Because even in the darkest hours of the night when I’d be holding a rag to my mothers bloody nose and bruised eye, she’d still turn up to me and say, “You are beautiful.”

And so is life. Life is beautiful, you just have to look for it. You find happiness in the fact that every morning you are blessed to wake up, to breathe, to love, to be loved and it’s not something we should take for granted. Your life is your own and only you are the only one who can mold it into something to be proud of. 
I think a quote from the piece that inspired this link-up really explains it best:

”Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you will find that too.”

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!